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★ { Abi } Stay With Me

Client: lostlovefairy

Reviewer: AbiPWriting

Reviewed Chapters: 13

Focus: Relatability, Engagement, Pace

My overall feedback (See chapter paragraphs below the criteria)

Criteria

Grammar & Writing Style - 18/20

You write very well. There are many detailed scenes related to characters, world-building, and the scenery around them. I noticed only a few typos and mistakes overall. I especially think you excel at cliffhangers and grasping the reader's attention from the opening paragraphs. I can feel the emotions of the characters through the screen. Great job!

Engagement - 20/20

I was thoroughly engaged and entertained the entire time. Often in my individual chapter feedback, you'll see I was at the edge of my seat! The plot thickens, twists, and turns in ways I never expected. I feel like I am right there with the characters, especially Fiza, on her rollercoaster of a toxic relationship's ups and downs. I wanted to scream about how manipulative Alan was. Plus, your writing features many hooks, so you do well at keeping your reader on their toes!

Descriptions (characters, world-building)- 9/10

You give detailed descriptions of each chapter. I only noticed a rare few times of places where I wanted more detail or information. The pacing is perfect for the novel and I think you excel in this category! My only real feedback would be using stronger adjectives at times. Maybe instead of sad, you choose melancholy or rueful, etc.

Clarity - 9/10

Only a few typos were caught, so clarity is basically flawless.

Cover - 8/10

The cover is a bit crowded. I had to really look at it to see exactly what was going on because the main couple's image is closely zoomed in. Then, there is a frilly heart border, a big title, and a small username for credit. I'd suggest removing the border with the hearts, and if possible, zooming out on the image a little to see the couple clearer. When the cover was small, I couldn't make out everything. I had to go to the description page to really see it! It is not bad at all, just a few touch-ups or edits would make it stand out even more! (Also, these are optional, so it's totally up to you!)

Blurb 9/10

I think blurbs should be a short few paragraphs that get straight to the point. This is so a reader can quickly scan the blurb and decide whether they are interested or not. Your blurb is very interesting and does hook the reader's attention, but my only complaint is it is a tad bit long. If this was a book on a library shelf, I'd put it back because the blurb would be too long for me. Or, only scan the first few paragraphs. I think it will be more effective if you make it a little shorter. (Think short, sweet, and to the point!)

Creativity - 10/10

Your story and world are very creative! I love how much research you put into learning about doctors, medical terms, the requirements to be a doctor, and etc! Also, I liked that your story was not taking place in America! Always great to see other places in the world. I think this is a very realistic type of toxic relationship feature, this makes it very creative in the way you put your own twists and spins onto it. Your characters are unique, each with their own personality.

Personal Enjoyment - 10/10

I love your story! It made me laugh, yell, cry, and just feel so many emotions. So many chapters end with a cliffhanger. Overall, the story is just a page-turner, leaving me desperate to get to the next chapter and discover what happens! Is he cheating, are they breaking up, what's going to happen next, etc!