Unsuspecting Hero (Batjokes)

Chapter 36

(TW; Suicide Attempt)

Jack knew he was being spoken to. Harley, Damella and Alfred stood before him. Their lips were moving, looking at him with pity and concern.

And for once he was grateful for the ringing in his ears.

The couch underneath him was soft, overtaking his senses as he melted into the cotton fabric. It grounded him, but not enough to pay attention to the outside world. 

Bruce had been wrong, in the end. What did he have to be proud of?

He had came so far, and yet Jason Todd was still a loose end. One he couldn't ever fix, one that would haunt him for the rest of his life. Much like the thousands of bodies under his name, the way he had broken Harley, how Barbara Gordon will never walk again. He couldn't be proud.

Proud of what? Separating families? Killing innocents, paralysing those who didn't deserve it, torturing one of his beloved's sons?

It was unforgivable. He didn't deserve this, any of it.

Axel was right. Harvey, Jason, they were all right. Why fight the inevitable, when it was so clear that he was the problem?

The wind blew through his hair, and it startled him for a moment. When did he leave the couch?

His eyes could hardly focus, but they caught sight of the city. He was on the terrace. The same one that he was held at gunpoint. A hand grabbed his shoulder, and he flinched away from the touch. He wasn't sure who it was. Alfie, Harls, Dammy? Or maybe even Axel, coming to finish the job?

It didn't matter. He wanted to relieve the burden he had caused on so many.

Axel, who was mourning the premature death of his parents. Jack felt nothing but awful at the fact that he hadn't even known that. Just how many had he indirectly hurt with his senseless killings?

Jason, who was mourning what could no longer be. He could never be the same man, after what Jack had put him through. He lost his dignity, his family, his everything. Jason was the embodiment of angry, and he had a right to be.

Barbara, who was mourning a lost life. She was so happy on the streets, fighting by Batman's side and feeling the rush they all felt as they walked through Gotham's murky streets. She could no longer do that, no longer walk in general. It was a miracle that she could even move, with the position the bullet had hit her spine.

Harley, who was mourning who she had become. Jack could see it so clear, the guilt, the fear. She was such a sweet woman, only wanting to help others who had lost their way. And Jack saw her infatuation with him, and manipulated it into something so ugly and wrong. She was never built to fight within these streets. She was made to bring life into it, but had lost her way at the hands of her 'Mr. J'

Alfred, who was mourning the sweet little boy Bruce Wayne used to be. The death of his parents was tragic, and his choice to become Batman had left a sour taste in the butlers mouth. The only father figure Bruce had, constantly swept with worry when Jack left a worrying stab wound. Or when he kidnapped him, tortured his family. Batman was fed by Jack, there was no Batman without the Joker.

Riddler, who couldn't mourn because he was in a coma. A fatal one, with the looks Bruce and Alfred had been giving him. He had never treated Eddy right. Jack hadn't loved him, not back then. Had only saw the benefit of having Riddler and his tech-savvy brain by his side. And, hey, what was a little extra sex on the side? It made Jack sick, that he did that and could never apologize for it.

Two-Face, who couldn't mourn because he was dead. He wasn't really sure what Harvey would have to mourn about. His own death? Not finishing Jack off? They both felt like valid reasons.