The Love We Left Behind

I have no one

Carson

The house was quiet.
My parents went out on their weekly date night. It was something they have done since Tori and I were children, and while they stopped for a while after Tori passed, too grief stricken to care for romance, I was glad to see they picked it back up.
I scrolled through my phone in the living room, jumping from one app to the next in a futile attempt to distract myself. Eventually, I would find myself thinking about the girl across the street, and my chest would tighten again. I hadn't heard from Lexi since the day we fought in her front yard, the memory of her sobs as she poured her heart out to me drove me insane.

I didn't know what to do. Roses seemed like a good idea at the time, they were her favorite after all. But they didn't seem to impress her much, not that I had expected them to. Neither did the gifts.

A part of me, a small part that remembered a bright, independent Lexi, knew that none of that would work on her. But I was running low on options and I was desperate, so I gave it a try anyway.

A loud knock snapped me out of my thoughts, and my eyebrows furrowed as I looked at the time on my phone. It was way too early for my parents to be back already. Had something happened? The knocks grew louder and more urgent, and I jumped to my feet and crossed the living room to the front door in a couple of strides. Sending a silent prayer that my parents were alright, I opened the door, only to be greeted by the sight of a heavy box.

“Lexi,” I breathed out in relief when she lowered the box down, but my happiness was short-lived as I noticed the scowl on her face. She shoved the box in my hands so hard I stumbled back, my throat going dry as I inspected its contents. Every gift I had gotten her; every note, every dress, every book, were stacked into it, some even unopened.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Lexi said, her voice strained with anger. She shoved a shaky hand through her hair, tapping her foot against the steps.

I put the box down. “I can explain.”

“You don't know how to take a fucking hint, do you?” She glared at me, her voice rising in distress.

“I was just trying-”

“I don't want anything from you!” She threw her hands around, a watery laugh escaping her lips. “Do I look like a fucking charity case to you?”

“No!” I shook my head rapidly, taking a nervous step toward her. “Of course not!”

“Then why the hell would you pay my mom's hospital bills?”

Deafening silence rang around us, the echo of her words making my bones shake. She figured it out, of course she did. Lexi was a smart girl, and while I knew she would put two and two together eventually, I was hoping we would be on better terms by then. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.

“I only wanted to help, Lex.” My voice sounded small, defeated.

“We don't need your help!”

“Maggie is like a mother to me too, you know.” I wiped a hand down my face, panic surging in my body as I scrambled to explain myself. “I didn't want her going through all of this alone.”

She scoffed, her eyes boring into my soul. “Is that why you called her every day these past seven years? Oh wait, you didn't. You didn't check in on her once, you didn't call, you didn't text. And when she was diagnosed a year ago? You didn't bother to call either. And for the record, my mom is not alone. She has me, and we're doing just fine without you.”

I exhaled a shaky breath. “I was just trying to help,” I repeated, hoping if I said it enough times she would stop looking at me like I was the worst person alive.