Gentle touch

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"I feel more like a project than a person sometimes." Alexa looked down at the diner food, she picked up a fry, only to put it back down moments later, merely looking for something to do with her hands. "They make me feel like a project." She added afterwards, feeling deflated.

Elise stared at her, waiting for the girl to continue. "I don't know, it's just like they want to rebuild a destroyed tower, except I'm not a building in ruins, I'm a person who went through something."

"If I'm happy then they win, they'll feel like they did that, they'll take all the credit. Maybe I like being sad, not letting them take satisfaction, in quote on quote fixing me."

"I don't think it's a matter of winning, they both want what's best for you." Elise pointed out, the girl struggled to make eye contact, her gaze still fixated on her plate.

For a moment, Alexa bit her lip, needing to ground herself in the situation.

"This isn't a fairytale, it's my life." She bitterly muttered, Alexa had never been a fan of superficial tales, and it wasn't going to change now- even if she was the princess. "The second I let it all happen to me, I've let them win, you say they want what's best for me, except they don't when it's something I want."

The redhead nodded, "is it really worth it though? Going through all this pain alone?" She questioned, more so curious if anything.

Alexa shrugged, "it's not as bad as the self loathing I usually feel." She surmised, "I'd rather be sad than hate myself."

"Why do you hate yourself for something out of your control?"

The question didn't match the atmosphere of the room, such a heavy question for a light hearted environment. None of the strangers around them knew anything, they were none the wiser to the situation at hand. Alexa paused, taking a sip from her milkshake, although the strawberry didn't taste quite so sweet.

She swallowed the drink, "maybe I like it sometimes." She whispered, shame burned her body. "I shouldn't like it, but I think they've messed up my brain enough, that I do."

"All humans want love and affection, even those who say they don't, of course you like it sometimes. Regardless of what you believe, you are a person, not a project."

"You sound like a therapist." Alexa commented, needing to find humour in the situation, before her feelings swallowed her up inside. The pair shared a small smile, Alexa taking a small bite from a fry, the saltiness being welcomed on her tongue.

Elise nodded, "Lottie's the therapist, all of my advice is unsolicited, probably not good advice either." She amusedly spoke.

"You aren't that bad." Alexa told her, looking up to meet her eyes, "it's nice to talk to an actual person sometimes, not someone with a degree in mind fuckery." Her own use of language made her flinch. Even if she hadn't intended to, the women's rules had been drilled into her mind, a girl forged from

A laugh came from Elise, "mind fuckery, don't think I've ever heard that one before." She chuckled.

"I'm original, I guess." Alexa replied, almost feeling slightly proud of herself . Hours prior, she barely wanted to utter a single word, and now she was having banter with the woman, one who she should hate. With the sip of her milkshake, she also swallowed her feelings, she was having fun- she was allowed to.

"Do you wanna know my favourite law term?" Elise suddenly enquired, leaning forward slightly, Alexa nodded.

"Volenti non fit injuria."