S-I-N, I, S-I-N || Priest!Gerard

Alternate Ending (Part 1)

As soon as I had the space I bolted for the door, I knew there was a bathroom somewhere in the venue but I neither knew where it was nor was able to run there fast enough before the contents of my stomach would be all over the floor and I wasn't stupid enough to think the staff would be all sunshine and rainbows about cleaning up the side-effects of some random teenagers pregnancy.

I'd barely reached the gutter before I was doubled over, throwing up so much that I nearly wished for the sweet release of death, why does everything have to understate the suckyness of morning sickness.

"Those nausea pills were a total lie," I groaned as I sat down on the curb, I should have known that out of all the times I could get it I'd be dealing with the pregnancy pukes right in the middle of a concert; is all I wanted was to enjoy myself once, just once before I get too big to do anything safely. "This blows."

It was these kinda things that made me feel the shittiest, I can be sick, freezing and feel like I weigh twenty pounds more than I actually do and the only person I want is my mom. I wish she didn't hate me for this, I wish that she still wanted me to be her daughter, I wish that instead of abandoning me my parents wanted me to come back home so they could help me out because this is freaking terrifying.

I've always been afraid of being pregnant, ever since I read the test, I'm still a fucking teenager and I'm going to be responsible for raising a baby human being. Someone's life is gonna be in my hands and if they're screw ups when they're teenagers then it's gonna be all my fault, I could do such an awful job when raising a child that I could be responsible for the next Hitler. These is so much more responsibility than I've ever wanted, the only thing I ever wanted to do was graduate from high school and try to get a job doing something that I love, is that too much to ask?

My vision started to blur from the tears clouding up my eyes and I wiped my face, feeling the drops quickly falling on my cheeks smear across the back of my hand along with any makeup I hadn't sweated away from being in the hot music hall filled with the body heat of a few hundred people.

There was a buzzing against my leg and I looked down to see that my pocket was lit up by my mobile, I'd set the thing on vibrate so I'd be able to know when I get a message or a call. With some one-handed fishing around I was able to fish the small cell out of my jeans and read the caller on the screen, it was Gerard.

'Ziggy played guitar, jamming good with Weird and Gilly and the Spider From Mars. He played it left hand, but made it too far. Became the special man, then we were Ziggy's fans.'

After questioning if the name I was reading was right I answered the call. "Gerard?" I asked, even though I knew it was him I couldn't understand why he was calling me right now. "Is there something wrong?" It seemed fair to wonder, he knew I was at the concert and as far as he knew I was at front barrier.

'No, I was just wondering if you were alright. Vic said you cut out early, is everything okay with you?' I smiled at the question and sighed, thinking about the great view on stage the girl behind me must now be getting. 'Was the music too loud? We were talking about that.'

"No, everything sounded absolutely perfect. I just got a bout of morning sickness. I don't think the security guards at the front would have appreciated me barfing everywhere." I knew I was technically friends with the band but I knew that wouldn't get me out of trouble or pulled out of my spot.

'Oh, well you think you'd want to come inside and sit down?' It seemed like a pretty good idea and I got to my feet as I replied, "yeah, it'd probably be a good idea I feel a little yuck. I'll see you in a second."