Like Romeo and Juliet [COMPLETED]

Eighteen

I really am fucked up. I really did fuck up my life. All my fault, forever and always.

Elijah just helped me realize it.

"I'm so sorry for his actions, I'm sure he didn't mean it, I think he's just in shock because of what you did," his mom runs after me.

"It's okay," I fake smile. "I'm in shock too."

I walk out of the front door and down the long driveway.

I said it's okay because I know that in less than a second if Elijah asked me to take him back I would.

That's how much he has an effect on me.

It's crazy really.

How someone can just come into your life and make you feel like you're flying but soon enough, you stop flying and fall.

He make have hurt me but I'm okay with that because I've messed up too. I mean I did try to milk myself, I hoped to die.

And maybe I didn't have it as hard as Elijah did but I would never point out everything the way he did to me.

And to know that he did that, the one I'm in love with.

Just because he wanted to break up with me, because he's insecure about the relationship.

I think that's my fault because when he told me he loves me I just said I needed a second, and then when I tried to kill myself he felt insecure because he might've thought that I didn't want to with him, so he takes care of me and ends it.

***

"What made you change your mind?" Doctor Maria asked.

"Elijah," I mumbled.

"Why?" She asked.

"He broke up with me because my life is a mess. So why not try to make it better," I explained.

"Would you like to explain what happened during the break up?" She asked.

"Well he pointed out all of my mistakes in life, to try and get me to realize why he doesn't want to be with me," a tear runs down my face. "So I decided to pick everything up and not let my past define who I am as a person."

"That's very good, Averie. And I'm very sorry about you and him," she smiled at me. "But I'm also glad you came to me. It's good to talk about things."

"Yeah I just have a lot inside, and it's killing me," I mumbled.

"What's going on?" She asked.

"Constantly I'm telling myself I don't deserve anything and it's gotten to the point where I want to take my own life. Like the reason I purge is because well my parents remind me I'm fat and also because I don't think I deserve food," I explained trying to hold back the tears.

Hold back the river.

"I see, but why do you feel like you don't deserve anything?" Dr. Baker asked.

"Because whenever I look in the mirror I'm disgusted with myself. I think of all the horrible things I've done and all of the horrible things that have happened to me," I explained. "So I try to take the pain away."

"With cutting?"

"Yeah."

"Have you ever thought about what your friends think?" She asked.

"Um yes," I mumbled. "I know I have great friends but to see them with there lives makes me jealous once again."

"Why do you get jealous?" She asked.