The Hunger Games- What If's (Fan Fiction)

Chapter Nine

   I walked up the river, to wherever the water began to flow. My footprints were imprinted in the mud with a soft squish.

   After walking for about half an hour, I found a perfect little cave. It was rather easy tot ell it was there, so I'd have to change that if Peeta and I were to come here. I thought about the distance, then realized that we didn't have to get back there that day.

   The river flowed a little ways- around three or four meters- away from the cave, so there would be no lack of water. The inside of the cave greatly resembled a lean-to, which was basically ideal for this type of arena.

   I smiled to myself, thinking that I could actually save Peeta. Quickly, I hurried back to him in half the time it took my to arrive at the cave.

   When I was a meter or two away, Peeta turned to watch me approach him.

   "How'd it go?" Peeta asked, forcing a smile on his face even through all of his pain.

   I smiled back at him- more out of pity than a genuine, loving smile- but smiled all the same. "It went well, actually. It's kind of a long walk to get there though... Are you up for a walk?"

   I saw Peeta's eyes flicker to his damaged leg, then quickly drew his gaze back to my flushed face once again. "Can we rest? Just for I bit longer, I mean."

   I nodded silently and moved to sit beside the fragile boy, setting my bow and arrows next to me. I reached my hands down into the river then brought them back up, cupping the water in my slightly shaking hands. I moved them over Peeta's hurt leg and let the water slowly trickle through my fingers, out of my grasp, and cleansed the wound once again.

   I turned my head to look at Peeta, whose eyes were tightly shut, most likely out of pain. I let my eyes wander dwon to his knuckles; they were a ghastly white, balled up into fists.

   I leaned back against the same rock as Peeta, wiping my wet hands off on my pants.

   "Does it hurt?" I took one of Peeta's hands and noticed how cold it was. I brought my other hand up to his blotchy face to be met with a dramatic temperature contrast. "You're burning up!" I let go of Peeta's hand and brought it to the other cheek. 

   Peeta sighed. "I feel fine, Katniss. You're here with me, and that's all that counts."

   Despite myself, I smiled. I let my hands fall from his face and land limply into my lap. I pushed my back up against the rock and placed my hands on the damp patchy grass. I dug the heels of my already damp boots deep into the mud and water at the river's edge. I strained my neck and shoulders stretching all of my muscles down to the core. I relaxed slowly, limb by limb. At the end of it all, I collapsed on the ground and set my head into the crook of Peeta's shoulder and head. Peeta took my hand in his own. It felt cold, almost dead, and just as frail as a corpses'. But then he gave it a squeeze and it felt strong and controlled, sending shivers running free throughout my body.

   I  looked down at our hands, then intertwined our fingers. I placed my other hand over it, to protect him- or at least that hand- from the rest of the hard-cored world. Peeta took his other hand and set it on top of mine, just like I had done. I lifted my head off of his shoulder and let my gaze be led astray from our tangle of hands and found his face.

   The way Peeta looked at me made me feel warmand fuzzy, inside and out. He looked as though he truly loved me.

   I smiled back and pulled my eyes away from his perfect face, blushing and embarrassed.

   Peeta took the hand that was on top of mine off, trailed it slowly up my arm and stopped when it reached just beneath my chin. He lifted up my face and our eyes connected. He leaned in, but stopped right before our lips met, giving me a chance to pull away. My heart began to race and I wanted to run, but I stayed put.

   "You know you have to, sweetheart. Don't run; I know that's what you're thinking." Hamitch to me from somewhere in the Capitol.

   So I didn't pull away. All I did was whisper.

   "Kiss me."

   And so it happened.

   The soft, yet strong feel of his lips pressed against mine took  my breath away.  At first, it was nice, but then I realized how hot his lips were. I pulled away slowly, a little dazed.

   I didn't love Peeta, but I wanted more. I wanted him to kiss me, to hold me, to tell me that he's fine. But I know he's not. My head fell back into that crook on his shoulder. I knew he wasn't fine, he could have actually died at that moment. Just because I didn't find him soon enough.

   "Are you okay?" Peeta asked softly, his voice only a hoarse whisper. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders,  pulling my closer.

   I shook my head, lifting up my face to look at his. "No. No, I'm not okay, Peeta. I... I was... t-too late," I stuttered.

   I tried to stand, but Peeta grabbed my hand, urging me to sit next to him again. He drew his hand back from being around my shoulder slowly, and grabbed both of my hands, one in each of his.

   "Talk to me."

   I'm not sure what it was that made me fill with dread in that exact moment. Maybe it was me realizing that the boy who had been with me since the start of the Games, even before then, might not be with me tomorrow. Maybe it was the mockingjaythat began to sing Rue's tune, almost as if it were mocking me for letting her down, too.

   Whatever the reason was, I dropped my head down and began to sob. Peeta let go of my hands, so he could wrap me in his arms. He began to rock back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

   "Shhhh. It's okay, you're fine Katniss. It's okay, you're allowed to cry."

   He didn't know. He didn't know that it was't okay for me to cry. He didn't know about how I had failed Rue; how I had defied the Capitol more than once already. He didn't know how I betrayed him by staying with Thresh when I should have been with him. He didn't know how ofter I thought of Gale, how much I wanted to be at home with my family, how much I wanted to die so this could all end.

   But no, I didn't want to die then, and I wouldn't die then. I would let myself cry, I would let myself be comforted by the boy by my side. I wouldn't argue, I would only cherish that moment.

   Before I knew it, my eyes were heavy. I closed them gently and still felt my body moving slowly back and forth with Peeta's, I could still hear the chirping of the birds, and I could still hear the rush of the water sloshing up against my boots.

A/N:

Hiya guys! I'm so so so so sorry it took me so long to update! (I know, I'm a horrible person. -_- ) I was at my grandma's for a while and didn't have access to a computer. Sorry if this chapter is a bit short, I just wanted to get something posted! So, I hope you like it! Comment, vote, fan, and all that good stuff! Thanks so much for sticking with me! The next chapter will be longer, I pinky promise! :-)