The Hunger Games- What If's (Fan Fiction)

Chapter Seventeen

   The herbs become a twice-daily routine. My mother and Prim leave me to think about Gale while they prepare the herbs for me. After a day or so, my mother tells me I can sleep. I greatfully accept the fact and fall asleep almost instantly.

   The oblivion-like state that I enter would have soothed me, if not for things called nightmares. Every time I fall asleep, an image of the Games appears in my mind. More often than not, it's a combination of me watching Peeta and Rue die, and of the people who I hurt. The mutts always scare me silly, I can't stand to think about them.

   "Katniss," my mother calls softly from the entrance to the kitchen.

   I open my eyes. "Yeah?"

   "Gale's here."

   I nod, an indication to my mother that I'm ready to see him. My hair is probably a wreck, and I don't smell all that nice. After all, I haven't done anything but lay on the couch for the past three days. 

   When Gale enters the room, I smell the earth on him. It's so nice and calming, almost like I'm back in the woods again. "Hey," he says.

   "Hey."

   Gale walks over and sits on the couch, lifting my feet up to put on his lap. I sit up and move closer to him. We just sit there for a moment, saying nothing. Then I finally bring up the courage to break the heavy silence.

  "Do you understand?" Gale turns to look at me.

   "Understand what?" his voice is so cold it physically hurts me.

   "Do you understand why I had to act that way towards Peeta? Did you ever realize that it was fake?" Gale almost look shocked for a moment before he turns his face away from me.

   "Katniss, maybe you thought it was fake, but he sure didn't."

   "I- I know that now. . ." Gale looks at me again.

   "What do you mean, 'now'?"

   "I mean that before I went onstage for the final ceremony, Haymitch told me that Peeta loved me. Honestly, I had no idea. I don't really know how to feel anymore. But Gale, you act as though you hate me now, and I just don't underst-"

   "I don't hate you, Katniss," Gale cuts me off. He puts his hand under my chin and lifts my face to his. "I don't know how to feel, either."

   I can see the emotions behind his eyes. How much I hurt him, how much he still needs and wants me. But then it's cut off as he replaces his warm eyes with his steely ones that are nearly impossible to read. "Gale, don't cut me off," I whisper.

   "Okay," his eyes soften again, but only a little bit. "Katniss?" he asks after a while.

   "What?" I say looking away.

   But Gale doesn't say anything. I look back at him, about to ask him what he wanted again, but he beat me.

   Gale brought himself down to me and kissed my lips. He was warm, firm and strong. But he was also rough, so unlike Peeta.

   "Why am I comparing him to Peeta? What are you doing, Katniss?" I think to myself as I close my eyes.

   I feel like I should pull away, like I should run away, but I can't. It's  physically not possible for me to do. So instead, I open my eyes and press my lips together, hard.

   Gale pulls away from me. He just sits up and stares. I blink. He blinks. Then he stands up, and walks to the door before turning around and saying, "Was it only real for him, or did you feel something too?" I wasn't given an opportunity  to respond though, seeing as he left without looking back at me.