The Hunger Games- What If's (Fan Fiction)

Chapter Twenty-Eight

   Waking up is not a fun time today.

   My lungs ache due to the amount of water that slipped through my nose down to them. My eyelids feel heavy, my arms are like jelly, and I didn't take a shower yesterday. My hair is pretty clean, but that's not a very big surprise. Cinna will fix me up today anyway, so that shouldn't matter very much.

   I'm not entirely sure what it was exactly that woke me up. It wasn't the sunlight pouring in from the window like in the Seam. But that's right, I don't live there anymore. Either way, the windows are on a deep blue screen and for a moment, I think it's real. At the same time, I feel like it's all not really real. It can't be, can it?

   As it turns out, it's not. I roll over and lo and behold, the remote to the window images was in my bed, and I accidentally turned it to the blue daylight sky while I was sleeping. I check the clock beside my bed, and it welcomes me with a neon glow that reads 4:52.

   I sigh and turn off the screen, the window turning into a real window again. I heave myself off the bed and walk over to it, gazing across the structured lights of buildings and the minimum of drunkards still wandering the streets.

   A sudden memory of Peeta sitting on the ledge in the living room crosses my mind, and I have a sudden urge to go sit there again. So, I do.

   I shut the door to my room quietly behind me. I walk down the stairs and into the main room, glad to see only the blank room and no Haymitch, Effie, or even Cinna. I need some time to myself; I need to be able to think for once.

   I walk over to the little window seat and sit down. I pull my knees close to my chest and let my forehead fall against the cool glass. I close my eyes, silently willing the world to turn back time. I bet that that's a sin. But who cares?

   My mother used to talk about how there once was a thing known as "God." She told me when I was little that he'd help keep us all safe, but I wasn't allowed to speak of him to anyone else. Apperantly, the Capitol did not look fondly upon what my mother called "religion," so it was abolished sometime during the Dark Days, maybe even before then. My mother believed religion to be the start of the entire destruction of North America. Of course, nobody really knows what caused it for sure.

   Some people say that a giant volcano might have erupted, destroying the entire western half of America. Others say that the people grew restless, so they all just started fighting, and officials couldn't hold them off, so everyone fought. Others say it was just a "stroke of bad luck," whatever that meant.

   I always think that there must be somewhere else, somewhere beyond Panem. What about the other countries? Are they just like us? Why do we never learn about them in school? Are we doing something wrong? Have we been outcast?

   I wouldn't be surprised to find out that we had been outcast from the rest of the world. I know that we're not the only people that live here. I've seen the oceans of District 4, I know that is must go somewhere. But where? Has anyone ever tried to swim across to the other side? Is there another side?

   I sigh and open my eyes. Even though it's so late, or so early, lights still flicker throughout the city.

   "Don't these people sleep?" I whisper, my breath fogging up the glass.

   I wipe my finger through the fog, leaving a streak behind. I watch as the patch disappears from the surface of the window.

   I glance over to the space across from me. Slowly, I release my knees and let my legs slide over across the seat, finally resting when they meet the other wall. Peeta sat here once. He looked at me and told me things that I'll never forget. I think that's when he first really started to affect me. I mean, really affect me. And how I thought.