Chapter Twenty-Two

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   I stare out the window, crying and screaming and dying on the inside. I can feel Haymitch sitting next to me, I know he's telling me something, but I can't focus. I think he notices this too, since he's stopped trying to get me to actually pay attention.

   I feel someone's gaze on me. I know whose it is, too. It's a warm presence, a kind and concerned stare. I glance over to the man whom I came to know so well before my first Games. Cinna smiles at me, and I can tell he's not expecting me to smile back, but I try to.

   He reaches across the compartment and takes a hold of my hand. I cherish the warmth of his hand compared to my freezing body temperature. It's good to hold on to something, even for a short while, to convince yourself that you're actually in the real world and not dreaming. But sometimes, it would be better if you were dreaming.

   I'm on my way to the Capitol now. President Snow never announced who it was who survived, but it caused an uproar in District 12.

   I remember Gale instantly coming and wrapping his arms around me, he put his face against mine and kept whispering things like, "This isn't real. No, you won. You won Katniss! This isn't right!"

   That's right. I thought I had won. All of the mutations were there, each one of them had the dead tribute's hair. Though it was haunting, it was a definite reminder that they were dead and gone.

   Anyway, Hazelle told me to go home instantly. And to run, fast. She said she was sure there must be people looking for me. And there were, there were a lot of people. As soon as I walked out into the street, I heard someone scream and others were sobbing quietly. I'm not sure why they were crying, I mean, it was only me. But it did mean that the Capitol was punishing us, for whatever reason.

   I ran home and flew the door open. I ran to Prim, who had her arms open for me. Tears were soiling her perfect, fresh face. My mother followed behind her and hugged us all. Tears didn't come to my eyes. I didn't, and still don't, know why. Either way, I don't think a difference would have been made. We all knew I was just in complete and utter shock, and we all knew I was hoping secretly for Peeta to be the one who made it.

   I was escorted to the Captiol train ten minutes later, along with Haymitch. Luckily, he was sober enough to realize what it was that was happening. I sighed softly so nobody could hear, and the train doors slammed shut behind me. On the train, I found Cinna, Effie, and even Portia waiting for me. And that's where I'm at now.

   Thinking back on everything that happened, I realize that I don't want Peeta to be alive. That would cause me much more pain and heartache. And, I would have to kill him or he would have to kill me. If I die, then my mother and Prim would have to move back to our small shack and lose all of the money they have longed for; their lives would be taken away as well. Prim can't hunt, she'd cry over every kill. Gale can only hunt one day a week now that he's eighteen and works in the mines. My mother might slip into another endless depression. That can't happen. Prim can't survive by herself!

   So I will win no matter what. I'm assuming ahead of myself that we're going to be forced to fight each other, but why else would it be announced so publicly? Gale's words from the first time I was heading off to the Hunger Games still linger in my mind:

"They just want a good show, that's all they want. . ."

   All they want is a good show. They want power; they want to completely control all of the districts. They want to be powerful, ever-ruling, invincible. Well, this little "slip-up" with the tribute proves that they're vulnerable. The Capitol was wrong. Does anybody else realize what this new tribute means?

   "Katniss, are you all right?" Cinna asks me with a concerned look on his face.

   "I just realized. . . it was a mistake." I look up into Cinna's eyes. "You know that too. But what about everybody else?" I lowered my voice to a whisper. "The Capitol isn't invincible. They just pretend like they have all the power, but they know that they don't. That's why they made the Hunger Games. But by doing that, they've made themselves more vulnerable! Has anyone else ever realized that?"

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