Ziall-Beneath Your Beautiful

Chapter Twelve

Heya guys here's the next chapter of the story, It's a little short but this chapter is exploring Zayn's feelings. Really hope you like it, Leave me your feedback.

Zayn's Pov:

I wanted to be able to try, I really wanted to let Niall in but I just can't. I'm always going to be held back by the fear of having my heart broken it's not something anyone wants to go through. Niall may be the perfect person but so was Craig at the start and he still managed to hurt me. Tears slid down my face as I crashed straight into mine and Liam's room, I gave Niall the wrong signals, I didn't mean to. That song it brought us closer together and while we were singing I allowed my walls to fall down gaining Niall complete access. After he asked me on a date, I knew he meant just the two of us but I was scared so I suggested I bring Liam and he brings Harry, But of course Niall corrected me after he did that I had no where to hide, I couldn't and I can't have my heart broken again people can say it's a small risk but it's not, To me it's a massive risk. 

I know I hurt Niall I could see it in his eyes. The look off disappointment but it wouldn't be fair on him to be with me, He deserves someone who can fully trust him. Someone who's not afraid to love or be loved, He needs someone who's not me. I sighed as I sat down on my bed, Why couldn't I be one of those people who trust without a second thought? I heard the bedroom door unlocking from the otherside so I quickly rubbed my eyes with my long sleeved shirt before looking up, Liam slowly made his way into the room, He shook his head when he saw me.

"What happened?" He asked. 

"I fucked up" I mumbled.

"I sort of guessed that, So what happened you guys look brilliant on stage together, Like you meant every word you were singing" Liam exclaimed.

"We did, Well I did it's just, Niall asked me out on a date and it shook me" I revealed, Liam sighed.

"Zayn you need to give Niall a chance he's not setting out to hurt you like Craig did. Anyone can see he really cares about you, All the times you pushed him away he could have given up but he didn't, You take one step forward then three steps back" Liam stated.

"I know, That's why Niall deserves better then me. He doesn't deserve to be messed around, He needs somebody who can trust him with everything they have" I replied.

"That person could be you if you really wanted to" Liam said, I shook my head.

"I want to trust him Li, I know how amazing and kind he is but after Craig it's hard, I gave him everything I had and he took it and broke it without a second thought" I exclaimed.

"The difference is Niall isn't Craig. Do you honestly think Niall would set out to hurt you? Because I don't, I wouldn't be here if I thought Niall was going to hurt you the way Craig did. You can't keep living in the past Zayn if you do that you'll never have a future" Liam stated, I sighed.

"I care about him Li, I really do" I whispered, Liam nodded his head before sitting beside me.

"I know you do and that's why you need to let him in and more importantly you need to tell him about Craig and what he did" Liam replied, My eyes widened.

"No!" I stated, Liam groaned.

"Zayn if he knew he'll understand more. You don't see it right now but your really hurting Niall, When I left to follow you he looked like he had been punched straight in the face, He looked so confused and lost, It's not fair on him, For all you know he could be thinking he's done something wrong" He explained, I lowered my head before shaking it.

"I can't tell him Li, How am I supposed to tell him I think he's gonna break my heart like my ex did? If someone turned around and said that to me I'd be pretty damn offended by it" I said.

"He needs to know Zayn your hurting him aswell as yourself, And if you don't do something about it you'll lose him" Liam stated as he stood up.

"I just can't" I mumbled, Liam shook his head.

"Then I will" He said before leaving the room, I sighed, Now I feel more lost then ever.

It felt like hours passed before I finally got off my bed. I walked across the room and grabbed my bag before walking back, I dropped back down on my bed before opening my bag, I might aswell get some work done, I pulled my books from my bag before placing it down on the floor, I then began spreading my books out over the bed, I slowly examined them before noticing the folded pieces of paper I slowly unfolded them. The lyrics Niall and I wrote together, We worked on so many songs we didn't even get the chance to finish them, All because I was being stubborn about writing a love song. After a few seconds I decided to read over the lyrics we had written together, They spoke out to me like nothing has before, I smiled as I remembered the memories each lyric contains, Long nights where we sat writing and having amazing banter, I then picked up my notebook and a strip fell out of it, I picked the strip up to find four pictures of Niall and I, I smiled as I remembered the day it was taken, Niall and I had gone into town because Niall wanted to buy some new guitar picks, He then convinced me to enter a photo booth and take some pictures with him, It was in that moment that I realized Liam was right, Niall's nothing like Craig and he wouldn't set out to hurt me, He cares about me and I care about him, I'm not protecting my heart by pushing Niall away, I'm breaking it. I have to make this right, Even if it doesn't end the way I want it to, I have to try.