Falling for a Psycho

Chapter Sixteen

Sixteen

I walk down the hall after dark, to Marilyn’s room. The guards are asleep as usual as I grab their keys and unlock the door. I pull open the door, and Marilyn, hearing the door open, looks up. I notice she is restrained to the wall with a lock on her ankle.

“What do you want?” She says, in a monotone voice. She looks at me, and I scratch the back of my head.

“Um, I just want to talk to you?” I say, the sentence coming out more like a question. Marilyn sighs.

“Okay. Talk,” She says.

“Why are you in such a bad mood today?” I ask her. I walk closer to her hesitantly.

“Don’t be hesitant. I can’t go anywhere. I wouldn’t hurt you anyway. I am in such bad mood because I haven’t eaten a thing today, I have to pee so bad that my bladder feels like it’s going to explode, and I’m alone and forgotten,” Marilyn says. I sit down on the floor next to her, and she looks up at me.

“They haven’t let you go pee? Or fed you?” I say.

“Nope. They’re too busy with family visitation day to care. No one cares about me, Donovan. Not even you. I beat the daylights out of you,” Marilyn says, looking down.  I look over at her, and she sighs, looking the other way.

“I still care, you know. If I could, I would let you go pee. But, I’d get in trouble and I wouldn’t get to come in here and see you again,” I say. Marilyn, instead of getting mad, looks at me.

“I understand that you care about me, and I’m glad one person does, but you have to know that I can’t care about you back. I can like you and not feel threatened by you, but I can’t care. It’s just not possible for me. I’m a psychopath,” Marilyn says. I’m glad she’s not trying to beat me up again. I look over at her, and I do something really risky.

I hug her. 

She looks down at my arms which are wrapped around her, and back up at me, then back down, then back up.

“What are you doing?” She says, not moving out of the hug.

“Hugging you because you look like you need it. And, I don’t hug people often. I’m not a hugger,” I say. I let go of her, and she looks at me in disbelief.

There’s a moment of silence, then Marilyn sighs.

“I bet you want to know the real reason why I’m so mean and violent,” Marilyn says. I shrug my shoulders.

“Well, yeah,” I say. Marilyn shifts her weight, attempting to get comfortable. She yawns, and rests her head on the wall behind her.

“You can’t tell anyone what I’m going to tell you. It has to stay between you and me. No one knows about it. If you do tell someone, I will kill you,” Marilyn mutters. She looks up at me, looking me in the eyes. She does have really pretty baby blue eyes. But, there still isn’t life behind them. They’re just cold.

“Okay. I won’t tell. I promise,” I say. Marilyn sighs.

“Um, well, the real reason I’m so mean is because when I was in prison, I was raped five times. I was only twelve, and when I was incarcerated, I was treated as an adult and put into an adult prison because of the severity of the crime I committed. I was raped by some of the other women there, and that’s what made me so cold. I figured the only way I could survive was to be cold, mean, and violent. I used to be really quiet and shy and kept to myself a lot, but after I got out of prison, I’ve been mean for a reason,” Marilyn says. I’m sitting there, looking at her. I feel sorry for what she’s been through, and I want to make her feel better. I just don’t know how.

“Wow…” I say. That’s all I can say. I can’t come up with anything else.
“I’m also cold because I am forgotten often. Like today, no one came for me. Everyone else had someone come, but not me. I have no one. My parents are dead, my family hates me, and my little brother, who I spared, didn’t come. I wasn’t going to hurt him. That was made up by the press to make me seem like more of a monster. I wasn’t going to kill him next. I liked him, and didn’t feel that he was a threat, kind of like I do you. I don’t think you’re going to hurt me, Donovan. You say that you care about me, and I guess, I like that. I like you,” Marilyn says. “I’d never thought I’d say it, but I don’t want to hurt you.”

I am shocked. I just sit there for a moment, thinking over what she just said. She doesn’t want to kill me. Marilyn likes me. And, the funny thing is I like her back. I want to be her friend. I want to be friends with a psychopath. I know it sounds completely crazy, reckless and insane, but I think I may even have a small crush on Marilyn. I know she doesn’t feel that way about me because she can’t, but I’m not going to let her know I feel that way. I’ll just keep it a secret for now. I won’t let her know. I know I should, but I won’t.

I look at Marilyn, and hug her again. This time, she rests her head on my shoulder, and sighs. She takes a deep breath and I see her close her eyes. I don’t want to let go of her. I really don’t. She doesn’t seem like she wants to be let go of. She’s comfortable.

It’s funny, but I think I love her. I think I love a psychopath.