THE CASUAL AFFAIR

DON'T THREATEN ME WITH A MORMON

I was sitting in a hotel room, clutching a cup of coffee. Shreck has made it for me. He is asleep, in the bathtub. I think of my lover, I cry.

~~*MEANWHILE*~~

Brendon laughs a hearty laugh that's full of heart, and cracks open another bottle.
"Hey Brendon! Whats in this drink ;) ???" Asks Pete, the owner of New Yorks most famous gay bar, The Cocksucker (lesbians welcome).
"Ummm...cocaine, champagne, gasoline..." He trails off, as Ryan Ross butts in "and, um, most things, uh, in between." The two high five, but Pete turns to Mikey and says, "I think he means mY DICK!!!" It it true. Pete has put his penis into the drink, and Mikey hits him over the head with a 'silk handkerchief' (Mikey dosn't acctually own a silk handkerchief, so instead he uses a cricket bat, and knocks him out)
"Sooo...Megan!" Says Portia cheerfully, "Brent and Shreck are dating huh!" Megan nods, and says "they were defiently on a date..." She shudders as she remembers the sexual horrors that took place in The Blind Diner, a diner for the blind. At the mention of the two names, Pete wakes up suddenly!!! "OMG THEY TOTALLY WALKED INTO MY GAY ORGY! AND THEN HAD SEX WITH MILK IN MY BATHTUB!!!" Mikey bursts into tears at the memory, and must be consoled by by Brendon Urie, who uses his forehead's magical healing powers to make him feel better. Ryan laughs, and Pete says "I wonder what else that forehead can do...haha ;)))" and before Mikey can hit him over the head again, the door bursts open.
Standing in the doorway of The Cocksucker (lesbians welcome), is none other than Lord Farquad, and his BFF, Mormon Prophet Joseph Smith.
Brendon falls to his knees and weeps. "NN-NOO! NOT THE MORMONS!!! ANYTHING BUT THE MORMONS!!!" Joseph Smith then picks him up roughly, and roughly flings him to Zach the Cloud, who flings him into a truck. "GIVE ME BACK MY BOYFRIEND YOU SMELLY!!!" Screams Ryan in pain and anguish, and the prophet and the cloud put him in the van also.
Everybody starts to scream and run around, and Bono is there too, and he is running and screaming. Farquad shoots a gun. It is normal to shoot guns, because this is in America and people can own a gun in America. "SSSSSSSSILLLENNCEE YOU FOOOOOOOLZ!!! he rawrs. IF U WANNA C UR FAGGOTY FRIENDS AGAIN, HAND OVER THE GREEN MAN AND HIS GREASY BF!!!!!"
"Ok." Says everyone. No-one likes Shreck and Brent.
Farquad is anguished but instead he says "HAND OVER THE EMO LORD!!!" Now everyone is confused.
"I am confused" says Bono.
"Shut up Bono! We are all confused!'" Says everyone. Bono is a prick.
"Who is the emo lord???' Says Brendon in a muffled, confused voice from the van.
"I BELEIBE HE IS CALLED......PETER LEWIS KINGSTON WENTZ III!!!1!1!1" yells Farquad.
Now people are really scared. They love Pete. They do not want the short man, the cloud and the Mormon dude to get him.
"We-we- we uh...don't know him! At all!!!" Says Ellen cleverly. U go Ellen!
Mormon Prophet Joseph Smith growls like a dog and spits on his hobnail boot.
"U HAV THREE DAYS TO FIND HIM AND BRING HIM 2 ME, OR NEVER C BRENDON URIE AND RYAN ROSS EVER EVER EVER AGAIN!!!!! RAWR!" Then the scary trio get back into the van, and leave.

Everyone is super duper shaken af.
"What are we gonna do???" Sobs Freddie Mercury, his eyeliner running down his face.
"I have a plan!" Shouts Bono cheerfully.
"Shut up Bono! We are thinking!" Says everyone. Ugh, Bono is such a prick.
" I have a plan!" Shouts Sarah cheerfully.
"HURRAH!!!!' Says everybody, and hugs her and gives her cake, bc yay Sarah.
"What is it???" Says Bono. Mikey produces and uses the 'silk hankerchief'.
"What is it?" Asks Elton John.
"We go to the gay alien king, and his mormon husband! They are both very wise, and they also have glitter! Plus, the husband is a mormon, so he will proboly know Joseph Smith perosnly.' Sarah says this proudly, because she is a proud woman. YAAAS, Sarah.
"LETS GO!!!" Yells Pete! He does not want to die at the hands of Farquad.
Elton, Pete, Mikey, Freddie, Ellen, Megan, Sarah, and Portia all run out of the bar, and get inside a yellow taxi (bc New York!!!) and Mikey knocks the driver (who is secretly a minion) over the head with a 'silk hankerchief', and Sarah climbs into the front. "Next stop- FORBIDDEN PLANET!!!"

"WOO-HOO!!!!" Yells everyone. Gays 2 da rescue!!!!

Ok an, I wanna dedicate this chapter to my fave borders (HAHAHAHA) and say Hi! This prolly isn't the best it can b, but hang on! Also I'm not on wattpad so much any more.... BUT ANOYHER UPDATE SOON!!!!!! Stay Kawaii RAWR (jk)