the replacement project :: c.h.

seventeen » emma's breakdown and cara's rock bottom

a/n- 'nother heavy chapter, im sorry, omg.

ninety percent of you are going to end up hating one of the coolest characters after this chapter and i don't think im quite prepared to see your reactions.

i love you verrrryy much, thanks for being you.

purely happiness,

x bri.

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[ cara ]

I bit my lip and slumped in my seat watching Emma pace back and forth in front of me with her hand covering most of her face. It didn't exactly take a ton of intelligence to figure out that she was for lack of better words, pissed the hell off.

She finally came to a stop and looked at me with narrowed eyes full of disbelief. "You said yes?!"

"Lower your voice! They're all in the other room." I whined, shrinking further into myself when Emma's glare only turned more cold. "I-I didn't know what else to do, Emma, okay? Looking back at all of this now, I feel horrible. I know it wasn't in my place to say yes, but I was caught up in the moment and it felt like he was talking to me and it just felt so good and everything he was saying was making me so happy and everything felt right-"

"God, Cara, stop, enough," Emma laughed with no humor lacing her voice, shaking her head and stared at me incredulously. "you're driving me batshit."

"What?"

"Why do you think I told you that Elena wasn't in love with Calum anymore? So that you wouldn't throw off their relationship any further and make it seem like she still is!" She snapped. "Now you have Calum thinking Elena wants to marry him, when in reality, she doesn't. Now Calum expects Elena to marry him in five years - do you know what Elena actually wants to be doing five years from now?"

"She wants to travel across Europe." I muttered lowly, finishing for Emma and fiddling with my fingernails. She wasn't making me feel any better about what'd just happened - at all.

"Yes, precisely. Exactly. Bingo." Emma clapped loudly, her hands flying in front of my face. I winced and shoved them away from me, glaring at her. "From all the European brochures taped on her wall, I'm pretty confident in saying El doesn't wanna be married or tied down to anyone at twenty-five years old, I'm sorry to break the news. Thanks to you, though, you have Calum on his tippy-toes expecting it. You have him expecting her to say 'I do' at the alter. Nice, Car, wonderful."

My lower lip was beginning to quiver, "Emma, I-"

"You're supposed to be her sister, Cara. You cannot just throw her under the bus like that, that's low."

I felt like crying, right there in front of her. There wasn't any humor in her voice, she wasn't joking. She actually was disappointed in me.

I knew that what I did was extremely shitty, I was more than aware. But another one of the worst feelings in the world, another to add to my list, was having someone who you thought was on your side drive the knives that are already in you, that you already know know are causing you to bleed out, deeper. Through everything, all Emma had ever done was stand behind me and push me forward when I was starting to stumble back - she'd helped me during the very first few days of the project, she'd helped me when I'd stressed over Calum, with my anxiety, learning the difference between a heel and a wedge - but I could already feel her backing away, slowly.

If she left me over this, I wouldn't have anyone else to stand behind me. I wanted to cringe at the thought.

"I'm sorry," I whispered brokenly, not meaning for my voice to come out so weakly. I wanted her to know that I meant it. "I'm sorry. I'll find a way to like, to fix this, I'll talk to Calum about it and-"