In Dark Hands. [Legolas FanFic]

Hesitating the hesitation

First of all I wanna thank a good friend of mine, Athena Tzouvelekis. Or known on wattpad as @n2n0n00. for helping me a lot with the story. This chapter is her idea while I just edited it. So Thank you again and please do VOTE.

I enter the halls of my father screaming, not in pain but in sorrow. How can I be such a fool by loving the enemy? Why did I go to the river that night? Why simply why? I can bare this, it's too much for me. It pains me like hell. I love him. but I can't love him, it's so complicated. Why am I nazgul? I am gonna marry Sauron and that will never be cancelled. I can't admit my love to the enemy, to Legolas. It's like betraying my father.

How can this be happening to me? I am so confused. It pains me, It pains me so much to ignore him and it pains more to kill him. It's like I have no strength whenever he is around, I feel weak but in a good way. I felt things that I never felt before, he is my friend, but.... oh Illuvatar! Who am I kidding? Myself, I am lying to myself!!

I reached my room, I shut the door closed. Then my vision blurred. Why am I crying?I wipe the tears from my eyes quickly but, just by the thought of saying no because of my duty my eyes become wet once more, I ended up crying with sobs. Is the elven prince even worth crying for? Will this just be a sudden thing that will pass or will I stay like this crying and heart broken of my own mistakes, my own stupidity. but no, NO! I will forget everything about that pointed eared elf. I am gonna marry Sauron and that's final. I am gonna kill what is precious to Thranduil and nothing and no one can change it. My back against the door, I slid down and wrap my arms around my knees. I am a Nazgul, I don't fear, I don't feel. I must stay, it's my mission. I must keep going. I must find the ring bearer and claim the one ring. I push myself off the ground and wiped my tears, this time determined that I will hunt and kill with no mercy.

I change into my Nazgul hood and run out again. I need to find Saruman or luckily Sauron to seek advice and encouragement. I need to speak to someone. I ride my dragon, Redrid. Find my fellow Nazguls. I commanded them "We will find the ring bearer, I think he is close to Mordor" I hissed in my Nazgul voice. we fly around Mordor, I don't know why everyone fears this place, it's quite usual and peaceful for me. I looked at Sauron's eye who was staring at me. I looked at it with adoration. "It's almost time" the eye said inside my head. I smiled weakly knowing my feelings were a mess. Then I felt something, like a pull. Draw me towards a place. I went to that place and felt the power increase. but I wasn't quite sure and I wasn't able to feel it completely. So I passed it without a word.

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"...Saruman!!!" I screamed after another day of failure and disappointment, "It's like the earth swallowed him and the ring of power, where the hell is he?!?!" I yelled again out of frustration. "Princess..." he said calmly and looked at me. "The problem is not the ring bearer, the problem is with your feelings..." he paused and raised an eyebrow. I looked at him, confused. "You can't sense him because of what you feel.... You feel, angry, confused, betrayed, heart-broken" he said, I grab him by his robes and brought him down to my level even though he was taller than me. "What are you Saruman? How selfish are you? You betrayed Valar and Maiar just to save yourself... Don't judge me" I said deadly and serious as I let his robes go.

He didn't say anything, he just shook his head. "It's your greed Saruman, Look around you! You think that we can win this!? They have the ring not Sauron. who have the power Saruman, we or they?" I said deadly again. "You can't understand why I am following Sauron" he said "Then tell me. but no, don't I know why" I stopped and turned the other way. Then I continued "You are the white wizard but your power weakened day by day. Am I right Saruman? Your fear Gandalf, right?"