Mute Musician (Ziall Horlik) AU

Chapter 24

Zayn's POV

I woke up much too early days following Niall's thing at the recording studio. He had told me all that was going to happen for him, including that he would be moving to America by the end of this week which only gave us two more days together. He would be going out there on Saturday morning with Luke. They would be the last ones over there, but I was fine with that because it just ment I had a bit more time with him. But that wasn't really the reason I woke up at five in the morning.

Today was my chance at having a life changing experience. I had practiced until my fingers were bleeding. I had cried over how much my music means to me and how much I've wanted this. I just don't know what will happen to me if I don't make it. I wonder what my future will be. I know that I could never be a music teacher because teachers have to talk. I could never be like Niall and get a gig somewhere that would make my big break. I couldn't do a lot if this wasn't my golden ticket. The only thing I could do is continue to go to uni and wait for auditions to come around again next year. That is, if they need a pianist.

That's how these auditions work. You audition for the instrument they need. I got lucky this year because they needed a pianist. There were only a few instrumental parts they needed this year, but I can only imagine it's because the other people went into retirement. That's one thing I would absolutely love. The stability of knowing that once you're in, you have a greater chance of staying in for the rear of your eligible years. You have to keep auditioning yearly, but I've been doing more research and everyone has been in the symphony has been there since they were in their thirties and now they're in their sixties. The youngest person is thirty-two. That not only makes me feel like I don't have a lot of experience compared to everyone else, but it makes me doubt that they would ever let some eighteen years old kid in.

"Zayn, why are you awake?" Niall asked me in a rough voice that was thick with his Irish accent. Since he came back his accent had been noticeably thicker and it took all I had in me not to pounce on him because that would be embarrassing.

"Nervous." I whispered to him, pulling him closer to me. He flipped over and kissed with his eyes still closed. I held him close to me and tried not to squeeze him too hard because I didn't want him to leave me. It hadn't settled in that much that he would be leaving me, probably just because I wanted what's best for him and that's everything he'll get to do with his band.

"You'll do wonderful. I'll be right there. Wherever you are, I'll be there." Niall said after a few minutes of his snuggling even closer to my body. Outside the window I could see a soft layer of snow was slowly falling. I knew by his words he wasn't even talking about tomorrow. He was talking about the long term that we wouldn't be able to be together. I already knew that things would be ending by Friday. There's no way we could do a long distance relationship. I know how people are over guys that are in boy bands and I don't want to be that person that's holding him back from getting to live in the whirlwind life style that would come with being famous. He should get to date anyone he wants to.

"I love you." I whispered to him. He let me kiss him and hold him as much as I wanted to for the rest of the time I should have been sleeping. Niall had fallen back to sleep but I just stayed awake. I watched him sleep and let my fingers glide over his back in a practicing way for my audition.

By seven in the morning, Niall and I were both crammed together in the shower washing each other's hair and kissing each other just like every morning. I was rinsing out my hair when Niall's arms wrapped around my waist and his hands reached down to my limp member. I reached down to move his hands off me because I was too nervous to do anything like that. The only thing I wanted to do was throw up.

"No." I said quietly. Niall kissed my shoulder and moved his hands from me to just rub my back. I felt bad for saying no, considering we didn't have that much time together, but I just couldn't bring myself to do that. I just had a knot in my stomach that wasn't going to go away until I saw the list posted with my name on it or not.