Faded [OLD DRAFT 2014]

.X. [EDITED]

"Elliot?"

"Huh?" I blurted out, jolting back to reality. I blinked a few times, adjusting to the glare of the sun pouring through the blinds of the windows. My eyes landed on Graham who had his head propped up by his arm staring at me. He was frowning but his eyes twinkled with curiosity. I smiled sheepishly, my eyes traveling towards the floor. Heat rose up my neck as my fingers twiddled against themselves. "Sorry, just thinking."

I felt his hand caress my cheek, pulling me tenderly to look at him. A smile cracked through his frown. "Haven't learned your lesson, want to get punished again?" he winked, a playful tone twisted into his words. Even though I knew what he meant, I couldn't help but flinch at his choice of words that brought vivid memories of what it usually meant. Graham's smile slowly dropped, his lips pressed into a fine line.

My vision strayed towards the ground again, hoping for the impossible. Without a doubt, Graham saw me flinch. Graham either decided to ignore it or didn't have any words for me flinching because he stayed silent. I peeked up through my eyelashes seeing him diligently attacking the workload spread out on our pushed together tables. I fumbled with my bottom lip, darting my eyes around the quite empty classroom, only about two other students besides Graham and myself.

The period was study hall, but you didn't have to stay, telling by the lack of bodies in the room. My eyes re-landed on Graham again. I knew he could tell something was wrong with what he said but decided not to push. I was glad for that. I wouldn't even know where to begin or how to tell him if I could even get words out my mouth.

How could you tell someone that like you you're being forced to whore yourself to a group of guys? Erik was probably sure about one thing, I doubted Graham would have any feelings for me once he found out how dirty I really was.

***

"Freedom!" a kid hollered as it was followed by a bunch of similar sounds. People dispersed into their little groups around the gym, chatting about random subjects. Coach wasn't here which was really odd. He always came, even if he was sick or a storm was brewing outside. Not that I was complaining. It was nice to have a break from his psychotic exercises.

I silently walked to the bleachers and sat at the end, briefly looking to the chattering people around me before looking into my empty lap. There was nothing for me to do since I didn't own a phone or an iPod anymore. I had to sell those but it was more of a choice. I couldn't bear having anything that might make me miss my past more than I did already. I sighed, fiddling with the edge of my clothes. What to do now?

Shifting uncomfortably, my eyes tried to look everywhere but one particular spot. I could feel that someone was watching me and I knew exactly who it was. He wouldn't do anything in front a crowd so I was safe for the moment I hoped. Later, I wasn't too sure.

A hand sturdily gripped my shoulder. Icy cold sparks raced from the fingertips of the person's hand and pierced me through my clothes. Gasping from the icy touch, I flew out my seat and tumbled on the floor in fear for what it made me feel. The feeling left me empty, cold, and alone. The despair inside me grew, overwhelming completely, driving me to the edge. I wanted to die.

I bit my lip, trying to stop the shivers that racked down my spine and suppressed the feelings. I had to calm my little episode down before it got out of control. My hand automatically wrapped around my self, my eyes closing as I tried to slow down the beating of my heart and breath. My eyes flew open in horror.

It wasn't working!

Instead my instincts kicked in and told me to run and run fast. To not even look back from the path I ran. It was just a cold hand so why was I reacting like this?