Faded [OLD DRAFT 2014]

.XIV.

Slamming my locker shut, the bell for first period blared through the halls. The usual boisterous halls were filled with buzzing whispers, as people muttered my name under their breath, pointing openly at me. My mouth remained tightly grounded as my eyes traveled mostly to the floor, making my way to class. Some kids were laughing while others were shocked, mixed in with other emotions that I didn't want to further indulge in. I tried to ignore it, the rumors about the investigation at my house that were obvious lies.

"Did you hear about-"

"I know. I heard he messed with the mafia."

"No way, I heard he pissed off his pimp and ran off with his share."

"Shh, here he comes now."

Coming across two girls that gossiped to each other, their mouths immediately shut as they saw me. Their guilt filled eyes quickly flickered away from mine before they scurried pass, dashing down the hall. A small ache pang in my chest, taking in their words. Weren't they my friends? I knew and used to sit at the same table as them at lunch, even having full conversations with them. Holding my head from sinking any lower into despair due to a sense of betrayal, thoughts raced across my mind; two that were predominate.

Was that what they thought of me? How could they think that of me?

Dread crept gradually to my insides as I steadily reached out, grasping the cool door knob in front of me, but I didn't push it open, doubt crawling up my spine. I couldn't do it. I couldn't face sitting in the classroom with my so called friends telling blatant lies right in front of me. Ignoring them didn't cut it anymore when it already hurt to hear them say it.

The fear Erik and them installed into me was slowly surfacing, reassuring the fact that they were right. All the comments they drove into me was turning out to be true. If the students couldn't handle this, there was no way anyone could handle the tape they blackmailed me with if it got released. Their response would be just like this, maybe worse. The feeling of tears pricked my eyes, my grip on the door wavering and loosened. I couldn't stand outside the door forever since it was almost if not already ten minutes into the period. But I really didn't want to go inside.

"Hey, you think I could get him to blow me for fifty bucks?" a gruff voice chuckled. "Hell, he'd probably like it so much he'd charge me less."

I stood unmovable as the comment sneakily seeped passed the door I was standing in front of and through my ears. The sound of the other students comments and Ian protest unnoticed by me, going through one ear and out the other. The unsettling feeling that was churning in my stomach suddenly drop lower than what I could imagine. The air around me froze, the frostbitten feeling gnawing on my skin through my layers of clothes. My mouth parted slightly, a hitched of a breath being the only thing that came out my semi-open lips. Breathing wasn't an option as I felt the oxygen being ripped from my lungs. The pounding in my chest paused briefly before changing into an irregular rhythm.

"What did you say?" a voice bellowed angrily, penetrating my stupor state. I shivered slightly at the intensity and volume of the words, listening as the room grew quiet. The only other sound was probably the violent shuffle of chairs and desks. "Because I didn't hear you quite clearly."

The voice was familiar and I knew it well. My eyes widen as a name flickered across my mind. It strangely sounded like Graham's.

"Dude," the first voice piped, sounding as if he forced out a chuckle. Whoever it was, I could hear the change of tone. He sounded scared. "Its not that serious, it's just a joke."

"Well I'm not laughing," Graham bit back, as I could feel the terror his voice brought. I cowered back slightly, my hand releasing the door knob. "Take it back."