WATTMAG Issue #3

Beauty is in the Eye Of the Beholder: Beauty from Within

Beautiful does not only mean a pretty face. It's confidence, maturity, independence, learning about yourself....

I can name so many different types, but everyone can define their own beauty.

When I was younger, I never considered myself to be beautiful. Because I liked hanging out with boys, my mind was set that they would never see me as girlfriend material. I was funny, loved wrestling , - but never someone to date.

Growing up, I watched how guys immediately went to my sisters for their beauty - and they saw me as the other one: not as pretty but cool to hang out with.

I accepted that, but I was insecure. There was one time in elementary school a boy I had a crush on said "ew she's ugly" to my face. I cried, it sucked. 

I developed early. Boys noticed but never looked at my face, only at my chest. I hid my body, told myself I was never pretty and no one would ever like me. I even avoided the mirror so I wouldn't see my face. The magazines of airbrushed models and celebrities. I saw them but it didn't make me sad, though.

It pisses me off that society thinks that version of beauty will get you anywhere and everyone will love you. We all come in different shapes, sizes, and colors but those magazines want to put you in a box of conformity.

I read first the Chicken Soup for the Soul  book in middle school. There were some amazing poems and short stories about kids that went through depression and eating disorders to find happiness. I wept as I read them. It made me look into myself and say "I am beautiful." No, I don't wear tons of makeup but I am me and people love my confidence. I can wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and say: "I look good."

One of my favorite shows is Pretty Little Liars because I like the theme that goes with it: never trust a pretty face. The most beautiful person can have the most terrible personality.

Girls is another one of my favorite shows, showing twenty-something-year-old different women that are making mistakes and learning as they venture in their careers, life, and love.

My mother told me growing up she was insecure too about how she looked, but when meeting my dad she didn't feel that way. He loved how strong, honest, and funny she was. He still does, going thirty plus years married. She's such a fashionista though lol.

Celebrity role models like Lena Dunham, Scarlett Johannson, Monique, Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer Lawrence, Taraji P. Henson, Rebel Wilson, Anna Kendrick and Gabourey Sidibe show that they refuse to follow society rules and tell us that no one should take your shine away by saying you're ugly.

If you have ever watched the movie Shallow Hal with Jack Black there's a scene where he's stuck in the elevator with Tony Robbins and he tells him that beauty is their spirit, their soul. I can't find the scene but the trailer is here. If you haven't watched it, I recommend it.

To me, the message of the movie is that not everyone is gonna love how you look, it only counts as how you see yourself.

We are all beautiful. <3 <3