Roman, I Love You

Family Dinner

16

My chest felt tight as I went through my closet and tried to find something to wear to my parent's house. It was dinner with my family tonight and the thought of sitting at a table with my father terrified me. I just knew that he would find every possible flaw of mine to put on display and the anxiety was curling through my air ways, tightening and suffocating me.

The thought of Roman being there to see it made it that much worse. He had heard stories of my father, but they had never actually met. I almost wanted to just beg him not to come, but then the thought of going without him terrified me, too. What terrified me most was the dependence that I had come to form on Roman and the way that I relied on him so often.

I felt his arms wrap around me from behind and hug me against his chest as he pressed a kiss to my cheek. I held his arms in my hands as I leaned back against him and his chin rested on top of my head. We stood there in silence, just enjoying each other's company and the peace it provided. I knew the moment had passed when his hold loosened on me, so I released my own grip.

Instead of moving away from me, his fingers began undoing the buttons on the front of the shirt I was wearing, coincidentally the shirt he had been wearing the day before.

Once he got to the bottom, he stepped away from me and I could hear him rifling through my clothes. He returned with a floral button up painted with red flowers. I thanked him as I shrugged off his shirt and donned a bra and the shirt he gave me. Just as I about finished buttoning, he returned again with a pair of shorts, the ones Avery convinced me to buy.

He knew me well enough that when I began to protest he said, "wear the black tights with them, but not the super dark ones, the sheer ones that you can kind of see through."

I turned and watched as he buttoned up his own shirt the color of pinkish-red, a lot like the flowers on my shirt. Just this once. I put on the tights and pulled the shorts on over them. When I was finished, I waited for him to turn around and stood on my toes to gently kiss him. A silent thank you.

I got out of the car and met him at the front of it so that I could take his hand. My chest was tight and the back of my neck was warm as we approached the front door. On the porch, I pulled out my key and took a minute to breathe before I opened it during which Roman leaned over and kissed the top of my head.

As we stepped in, I felt the warm smell of my mother's cooking envelop me. A mixture of nostalgia and longing washed over me. I thought of all the dinners I had shared with my mother and siblings while my father was still at work that were what family dinners were supposed to be.

Conversely, I thought of the dinners when my father was home that resulted in my automatic loss of an appetite. This felt like one of those dinners. Avery, Nat, and Jamie were in the family room while my mother still stood in the kitchen that conjoined with the eating area and the family room where she could see them. She smiled her huge smile when she saw me, joy plain on her face. Instantly, I felt bad for not visiting more often. She hugged me tightly for a while and then pulled away and regarded Roman speculatively.

"Momma, this is Roman, my, my boyfriend." I introduced.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him smile a little at my admission of him being my boyfriend. He stepped forward and put his hand out, "Nice to meet you Mrs. Johnson. Your home is lovely."

She smiled up at him and swatted away his hand in favor of a hug, maybe our mothers had a few things in common. "It's nice to finally meet you. And you should really see all of the house, Scarlett you should show him around, but go say hi to your father first." She gave me a pointed, knowing look.