Roman, I Love You

Asking For Too Much

Wow! I know that in the grand scheme 430 reads isn't much but I am so thankful for them and everyone who is keeping up with the story! So much love! 

We're getting close to the end! Just six more chapters left and then an epilogue! Again thank you so much! Now down to business~

Content/trigger warnings: sexual content, spanking, and mentions of purging.

Stay safe everyone! Love<3 - Lyse xoxo

17

I went into an episode of reclusion after that. I went to work and went home. Sometimes, if Roman pleaded with me enough, I would go to his house. I never did much of anything when I was there. He would work for a little bit in office while I curled up on a couch. Then, he would get into the kitchen and make something for dinner that he had to coax into me like usual. I did not put up much of a fight anymore. Instead, I went to the bathroom and stuck my finger down my throat. Each time, I thought of my father telling me that it was my fault that I was unlovable. He was right of course; I never could make people stay. Soon, Roman would get tired of me too.

After dinner, I would fall into his bed and curl up. I never fell asleep; I would just wait until he joined me. Promptly, I would turn around and pull him down onto me. I knew he was worried about me. He did not know if I was doing this to distract myself or if I actually wanted him, and when he asked me I would tell him I wanted it. I would not tell him why. Once he was absorbed in it, he would become the controlling Roman, the one who seemed ten times bigger.

One night, I took his hand and put it around my neck as he started moving inside of me. Our eyes locked and I knew he understood what I was asking. He just did not know if it was for the right reasons. There was a war he was waging: he was into it, it is what he had eluded to when we first had sex, it is what he was showing me when he bent me over my bed. He liked rough. He wanted to break me and I wanted him to do it, too.

When I felt his hand squeeze the sides of my neck, I knew that he had made a decision. I shut my eyes as a moan pushed out of my throat while my head leaned back, giving him more room. He gripped my torso, pulling my back into an arch and digging into my skin. Yes, this is what I wanted.

This same pattern continued as we got rougher and rougher. A week or so after the first event, I looked at him in the moonlight and said, "Roman, I want you to hit me. Spank me, like you did before."

His body language told me he wanted to comply, but his eyes told me that he wanted to help me. "Scarlett, tell me why."

"I want the rush," I told him, not completely lying. "I want you to make good on your promise to shatter me.

"That was a stupid thing to say to you," He told me.

"But was it a lie?"

He had to think about it. "Not in the way that you probably think I did. I want to keep you whole, make you better. I don't think that this is the way."

"I know you don't want to hurt me, but I also know that you want to do this, too. Please, for me. Guide me, tell me what to do." I reasoned.

He took a deep breath, then said, "Take off your panties, and you're going to lay across my knees."

He moved to the side of the bed and I crawled over to him, handing him my underwear. As I hovered over him, unsure, he gently guided me to lay my torso across his thighs and put my hands behind my back. Like the last time, he held my wrists in his grip against my lower back while his other hand traced up my from my knee to my core.