The Tudor Triangle

Chapter 8: In which my prayers are answered

Evening of 22nd August 1549

Stanfield Hall, Norfolk

I stare at him, aware for the second time today we are not being very well behaved. But there is something thrilling in that. My maid stops in her tracks, her mouth opens wide aghast at the scene in front of her. She looks like she will turn to run to tell my mother, but I shoo her away. She hesitates and then continues to my bedchamber. Robert then grabs my wrist and leads me forcefully behind a stairwell that is dark and hidden from all.  I can feel the pressure of his hand on my wrist and I am a little afraid.  He lets go and then stands close to me. The stone wall feels cold against my back whilst his breath warms my face

"Amy," he says looking down at me, "Amy, I..." he struggles to find the right words and I just stand there.  I am overwhelmed by him.

"Amy," he starts again " Since we have met , I have thought of little else and I confess it perplexes me greatly. I am supposed to be marching on Norwich tomorrow in my first military endeavor and instead I keep thinking of you standing there, covered in petals." He smiles at me. This is great news indeed, for he feels like I do. I did not imagine our connection. There is a little doubt in me, which asks how could I attract such a man but I push this aside.I say nothing. He is positioned so close to me I can feel one side of his body against mine as he leans in. I can feel the warmth of his body as it is moulded to mine.

Then he says the most wondrous words that have ever been spoken "I have never felt this way before, I have to admit that I am quite taken with you. And I cannot help but think that two such as us would be well-wedded together." He pauses briefly but still asks me for no answer.

"You will marry me, won't you?" he says it both as an order and with a hopeful air.  I can barely think for dizziness but my sisters' words about the Percy's come floating into my muddled mind.

"But, Sir, " I venture "You are...we are...my father," I say no more, for the truth is I do not wish to remind him too much of the obstacles in our way. I want to stand here with him and pretend that it is all possible. To feel him so close feels deliciously sinful. Then I quickly reason if he is to be my husband, maybe God would not mind too much.

"My father will deny me nothing," he says confidently "I will not be denied in this.I mean to have you as my wife. As for your father he will be overwhelmed with the honour the Dudleys give you." He is a little fierce when he says this to me, his mouth set in a determined line. I pause briefly at the implication father will be grateful but maybe he is right. It is more than he could have hoped for me, I will have married beyond his expectations.

"Anyway," he continues slightly bitterly "I am not so important being the third son. John and Ambrose are the true heirs to my father." I take this in, that is true. John Dudley has a huge brood of children, so could it be possible? That he will let his third son marry where he wishes?

"So it is settled," he says with a smile and still I have not answered him but then there seems little I can say. I would marry him this minute if there was a willing priest around.  He takes my hand and kisses it gently, his touch sends shivers through me, right to my spine.

"Tomorrow, I know not what will happen," he says solemnly and suddenly in all my excitement I have forgotten that he is indeed marching on violent rebels tomorrow. My eyes fill easily with tears.

"My Lord, you must not be harmed," I say urgently as he still holds my hand. He looks down on me and smiles.

"Fear not," he says confidently, "I will not die tomorrow, I will come back to you and we will be married. I want to marry young and have lots of sons."  He gently smooths back the hair from my headdress as he says this.  I am ecstatic that God has answered my dreams. I suddenly think that here in this house, by these stairs will always be where I was happiest. A dingy area of Stanfield I have barely noticed before.

"Yes," I say, "I know you will." I long for him to hold me but he lets go and is suddenly gone. I am left bereft,feeling alone. Before yesterday I was Amy Robsart, beloved of all in Stanfield.  Now, I am no longer Amy unless I am with him. I look down at my wrist and there is still a pinkish tinge where he held me so tightly, I rub it gently to remind myself that this had not been a dream.  Robert Dudley says he will  marry me and I believe him. There are stars on my dress and stars in my eyes;God favours me truly.