On the throne as Godfather(BWWM- Book 2 of the Godfather Series)

ch 9. Annabel's judgement

Ch. 9

This is dedicated to switchfoot17. Thank you for enjoying my book. Sorry for the late update everyone. I am in school so i have been busy but i will try to update more often if you guys are still reading this book.

Annabel POV

Damn. I did not know Sammy went through all of that and he was only a boy. When he was telling the story, he looked indifferent so I could not tell how reliving this story affected him. He is probably traumatized for life. I know I would be after that experience. I hugged him after he told me that story. He smiled when I did that and then I laid back on his chest. (Don't worry I laid on his right chest not the left one where he got shot)

"Oh my God Sammy, so when Christina told me that the scars on your back were from a traumatic experience she wasn't lying. I am sorry for making you relive this pain now and for pushing you to tell me before. I cannot even imagine how you must have felt. I still feel traumatized after the experience I had with Bob's crazy wife and brother but what happened to you was a thousand maybe even a million times worst. You were a little boy and you were punched, branded, stabbed, and kicked by grown adults. I thought it was bad that I had a broken arm but you could not walk, had multiple lacerations, broken ribs, a swollen eye, and a busted lip. How did you endure so much pain? How were you so strong at 13 years old?" I said looking up into his eyes amazed at how strong he is.

He looked back down at me

"Don't say sorry. I am fine. You want the truth? What Christina said was technically a lie. At first, I did hate what happened to me but eventually I got over it. I actually love the reminder now," he said

I looked at him confused. What does he mean he loves the reminder? Is my ex-fiance a sociopath or a psychopath?

He looked down at me with his mesmerizing green eyes as if he knew what I was thinking

"Bellisima, I am not crazy. The reason I love the reminder is because---. He was saying until I interrupted him

"First don't call me bellisima and second how did you know what I was thinking"

"Mi amor, you don't have a poker face at all. When I look into your beautiful brown eyes or your beautiful face I can see your emotions so clearly and right now you are looking at me like I am crazy."

"Stop calling me names of endearment," I said getting aggravated

"Why, you use to love it" he said

"Well I don't like it anymore, we are not together anymore, just call me by my first name"

I felt his body stiffen in response and he did not utter a word so I decided to just ignore what he said and continued on the topic of him being crazy.

"Sammy, the reason I gave you that look is because you just said you love what happened to you. The Russians tortured you." I say flabbergasted

"I didn't say I love what happened to me. I said I loved the reminder. There is a difference. As I was saying, at first, I was sad and angry with what happened to me but eventually it inflated my ego and I felt badass. I was 13 years old and I was tortured daily but I refused to give any information about my mafia. Even grown men could not withstand what I went through. What really made me realize I was a badass was the reaction from the adults in the mafia. They started to respect me and praised my dad for having such a brave son. Currently there are many people in this state who know either my father or know of him but there are also many people who don't know the Italian mafia still resides in New York because we try to keep it more under wraps now. However, back then everyone who resided in the state of New York knew who the Mussolini's were. They knew all the members and their family members too, which was the reason why as a kid I never was picked on or any relatives of the mafia for that matter because that was a death wish. But after this experience, it was not because of my dad that I was popular but it was because of what I went through that made me popular in middle school. I was now known as the badass. In high school, I had the good looks and that reputation making me a chick magnet. I feel those lacerations and brands all over my back and the scars that once resided on my stomach was a rite of passage to becoming godfather. It showed that I was meant for this job and I can handle anything. After that, nobody doubted that I could handle taking over my father's duties after he stepped down as Godfather," he said

Okay his explanation does make sense but still.

"Sammy, how could you torture people after what you went through as a kid? You actually know how it feels but you do not even care. That is despicable. How do you live with yourself?" I say

"I am not a monster so stop acting like I am; the difference between me and the Russian mafia is that I don't attack kids or women. The only women that I have killed or injured were Susan. My soldiers know the number one rule that you do not hurt, injure, or kill any women or children. They are off limits and if they do so without my permission, they know the consequences. Susan was an exception because of what she did to you but I would never have a women or child tortured or killed to hurt the man that I had a problem with or to get information." He says with conviction

Wow a serial killer who has morals, go figure.

He looked down at me with his innocent green eyes

"Would you ever marry me knowing what I do and who I am now?" he asked sincerely

I want to say no but at the same time I want to say yes. I miss him and I love him but how can I live with myself knowing what he does on the side. I want to cure and heal people and he wants to torture and kill them.

I didn't answer because I didn't know what to say and I just turned away from looking at him because whenever he looks into my eyes deeply it is like he has this sort of power over me and I can't think rationally.

When I turned, I heard him sigh and say, "Annabel, I love you more than you can imagine. I never saw myself as the marrying or even dating type but you changed me and when I first met you I knew, you were different, I knew you were special. I was selfish in dragging you into this lifestyle. I am sorry and I understand if you do not ever want to be my wife, fiancé, or girlfriend again. I just want to let you know you would always have my heart and I hope one day you can forgive me for lying to you and bringing you into my world."

After he finished saying that, I was crying silently. Good thing he could not see my face because I do not want him to know how much those words effect me. After he said that, I just left the room not ever turning to look at his face or to respond, and I went back downstairs to the couch. That night I cried myself to sleep. Why is he making this so hard for me? Why can't he just act mean to me like he does to others so I can get over him? This is the exact reason why I have been avoiding him. Him saying those sweet words just makes me fall more in love with him.

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Do you think Annabel should give him another chance?