Bad Boy Judah

n i n e t e e n

Judah returns me home—his home, safe and sound. I can't help but stare at the cold snow all around the city. If I look at Judah too long, my head will explode into bits.

"I already miss the heat," I say, through my scarf.

Judah unlocks the front door, looking back and smiling at me. I follow him inside and escape the frosty vapors of my breaths.

He flips the switch and lights up the place. I kick off my winter boots rather viciously. Judah walks in front of me, still in smiles.

"I'll take you again whenever you want," he pledges.

My brows go up and emphasize, "I'd prefer if you didn't get the... all-inclusive package."

I'm pretty sure he knows what I mean. He pulls my jacket off my shoulders for me, grinning.

The trip turned crazy very quickly. I didn't expect that shootout to happen. I never really know what to expect anymore. I try not to focus on the fact that the number of times I nearly lost my life increases the longer I stay with Judah.

I pause when I notice that Judah has yet to take his own jacket off. He doesn't even brush the snow off his shoulders, as he walks up the stair case.

Feeling off, I pull my sleeves down my hands and awkwardly stand in the living room. I stare at the bricks, counting them, until Judah comes back down. He appears with a duffel bag this time. 

Suddenly, his phone buzzes in his pocket. He takes it out and answers it. 

The memory of Judah throwing things and breaking walls comes back to me. I'd hate for him to return to that state, if anything were to happen to him out there. I don't even know what's out there, waiting for him. All I know is that it's bad and that I'll have to feel it in some way.

"I have to go."

"What if you don't go," I suggest, stepping in between him and the front door. As I wrap my arms around his waist, I feel an abrupt chuck of metal—his gun stuck onto his side. "Stay here."

Judah kisses my forehead and passes me by. I shut my eyes, feeling frustrated.

"I'll be back."

He's out the door, armed.

♠♠♠

The thick steam begins to be unbearable. That's when I know I've stayed in the shower too long. I brush my fingers through my hair one last time and exhale. Water runs down my back, as I turn it off. I keep thinking about the way Judah makes me feel. My skin is so accustomed to his touch, that I usually feel numb when he's not next to me. I don't know why my brain does this to me.

During my alone time, I think about everything—every decision I made to end up right here, right now. I've skipped school. I've stopped doing my work. I haven't called my parents back. I've even avoided Mara and her questions. If she knew everything I dealt with, she'd lose it. I feel bad making her worry, but I can't tell her... or at least not right now. I still have to decide how far I'm willing to go into Judah's world.

My thoughts are interrupted, after I hear noises beyond the door.
I quickly grab my clothes and put them on, even though I haven't dried myself off. My ears listen to several sets of heavy boots stomping throughout the hotel.

Suddenly the door bursts open. My mind comes crashing down as soon as I see Rick's taunting figure standing there. He stares at me the way a cat stares down a mouse.

"There she is!" he exclaims, happily.

He wears a stretched sneer, as he looks me over.

"Get the hell out!" I shout.