July 7 2015

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I miss talking to him. I want to tell him about everything I have been learning and doing. I want to know how he has been doing. I miss his voice. I miss his hugs. I miss the vibrations in his chest and our heartbeats that bounce between our rib cages. I miss him pulling me into him and locking his arms underneath my rib cage. I miss our love. But most of all, I miss him so much. It causes my heart to actually hurt. I miss my tiger-panda. It feels like he ran away from home and it hurts so bad because all I want to do is be with him again. I want him to be mine again. I hate this fear that he's already found someone else. I wish it would go away. I wish I could go away. Anywhere is better than alone with my demons. I hope he'll be there waiting when I finally make it back to him. He scared my demons away. But now they're back with another thing against me. I hope he is doing better than I am.

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