Destiny

2.

Chapter 2

"Did the pancakes suck as much as I expected?" I asked Brayden. Brayden was a tall boy with short blonde hair and tan skin. He was the spitting image of a California surfer. But he was stuck at the hospital instead and it really wasn't fair to him.

He sighed. "How can someone screw up pancakes?"

"That kitchen staff is full of morons."

He smiled and laid out my black checker pieces in front of me. "Why weren't you in group this morning?"

"I had a bit of a breakdown."

He looked up at me, his eyebrows raised. He knew I faked a lot of my breakdowns. I hated being treated like I was crazy when there really wasn't anything wrong with me.

I glanced around me before I smiled. "They gave me Floyd. No way was I dealing with him."

"And?"

"Amy came and she let me color at her desk all morning."

"You're lucky, you know that?"

I laughed. "Hey, I share my secrets. You could get away with it too if you flirted with the nurses."

"You want me to flirt with a nurse?"

"If you want to get out of group."

He laid out his pieces and leaned back in his chair. "I don't know. I don't like the idea of them thinking I'm crazier than I already am."

"But you're not."

He held my gaze before he moved his chip. He didn't say anything. Brayden had a bit more going on in his head than I did. There were days where I wouldn't see him because it was so bad. He didn't like people to see him like that. "What if we never get out?"

I glanced at the nurse that came into the room and waited until she was out of earshot before I spoke. "I'm starting to think that this will be my life forever. Faking all of my problems because it's the only fun I'll ever get."

He slight smile appeared on his face but his eyes stayed down on the board. "What if you showed them that you're fine and you don't need to be here?"

I rolled my eyes. "That won't happen. I've been here too long. We both have."

"Julia?"

I turned and saw my therapist standing in the doorway of the little room we were in. It was the only room that held any sort of fun. Controlled fun, but fun nonetheless.

"May we have a little talk?"

I wanted to tell him no. But I knew what the conversation was about. And I knew there was no ignoring it. Better to get it over with.

I sighed and got to my feet. "Just because I'm leaving, doesn't mean you win."

And a smile broke out on his face.

---

"Can you tell me what happened this morning?" Dr. Martin said, writing on his clipboard.

"It's nothing." I said, my arms crossed over my chest.

"It didn't sound like nothing."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"You say that every time."

I glared at him. Therapists were supposed to help their patients. They were supposed to care about their patient getting better. I didn't think Dr. Martin did.

"Julia, I'm only trying to help you. I only want what's best for you."

"Can we please not do this?"

"If we don't do this now, I don't feel that you'll get any better."

I sighed.

"We need to fix this before it gets any worse."

"It's already worse. I'm already hearing voices."

"I'm trying to help you control that, Julia."

"You're supposed to make it go away, not control it."

"Your diagnosis is one that alters the brain. We cannot fix the imbalances but we can help you learn to cope with them."

Imbalances. Cope. He really did think I was crazy.

I stared at him, trying so hard to figure out what was real and what wasn't. The longer I was at that hospital, the harder it became for me to tell. 

"Julia?"

I swallowed hard and abruptly got to my feet. "I need to go to my room."

Dr. Martin watched me for a few seconds before followed me to the door and let me out.

---

Edited 3-14-19