Predestined

Predestined - Chapter 12

Chapter 12.

I slowly came to and realised I was laying in the bed. My pulse sped up uncontrollably as I tried to percieve my surroundings. I lay there for moments considering what to do. I gradually opened my eyes to find myself alone in the bedroom. Relief cascaded over me and my pulse slowly began to return to a regular slower rythm. I heard hushed murmurs beyond the door, which stood slightly ajar. The voices were so low that no matter how hard I strained I couldn't quite hear what was being said. I was wondering how long I'd been unconcious when Julian and another person - one I didn't recognize, entered the room. The stranger was reasonably petite, pregnant by the looks of things, and had blonde hair. She looked to be maybe mid to late twenties. She seemed to have an air of authority about her. I glanced to Julian and then back to the other lady and couldn't help but feel a pang of anger and jealousy. Who was she? What where her and Julian talking about? Did he and her...? Was the child his? I knew I had no right to feel this way but I wanted to get up and make her leave. I narrowed my eyes on her in anger and a smile slowly spread across her face, which only made me angrier. I looked to Julian and felt so hurt and betrayed. I knew I shouldn't feel this way, for all I knew the woman may not have anything to do with Julian. His eyebrows began knitting together in what appeared to be concern. A tear ran from the corner of one of my eyes, and he began trying to approach me. I raised one hand to my mouth and nose to stifle sobs while the other arm raised hand outward to ward him off. I slowly slid off the edge of the bed and ran into the bathroom locking myself in, leant my back against the door and slid to the floor, and proceeded to cry.

Raven, baby, please. Come out. We need to talk. Julians voice whispered in my mind.

I made no move to get up or to open the door. I did nothing. My heart felt like it had shattered. I'd only known him days, and now I felt possessive of him. I was jealous of a stranger, she hadn't given me any reason to be though. Everything seemed so messed up - me and Julian, this whole transition, everything. I couldn't cope and I didn't want to. I slowly, shakily, got to my feet and began numbly walking over to the sink, and looked into the mirror. Maybe I could end it all. But there was nothing in here that could do that. I looked around for anything... tablets, a razor... nothing.

Come on honey. You need to come out. I can feel your pain. Please. He pleaded silently.

I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to block him out, trying to think. I realised I did have something. I'd forgot that my dagger was in the sheath on the corded belt. I slowly pulled it out and started turning it. watching as the light reflected from the sharp, shiny blade. It was beautiful. I slowly began bringing the blade to my wrist when the door started shaking. I watched the door as the blade got closer. The door shook with such force the wood started to splinter. Everything seemed to slow down. The blade reached my wrist as the door broke into smithereens. Julian appeared suddenly. The shock on his face was astounding and before I knew what was happening he was racing to me. He knocked the blade out of my hand, dragged me to the floor and pressed down on my wrist while growling fiercely. I looked down and saw a train of blood seeping from beneath his hand. He was whispering over and over that it would be okay.

I took stock of my surroundings and wondered how I'd gotten here. I mean. I remembered everything that happened and I remember making the decision to... you know... slice my wrists. But it made no sense. None of it did. It was if my emotions were on overdrive and all rationality had gone. I looked from my wrist, to Julian and back again. I took a deep breath and tried to get away.

'Raven. Stop fighting me dammit. You're hurt.' He commanded.

I ceased trying to get away and just lay there for a moment as he kept pressure on my wrist.

'Taya, can you bring some bandages and gauze in.' He called.

I stiffened as 'Taya' came into the room with a brown bag. She lowered herself beside me and slowly began rumaging through her bag emerging with some first aid apparel. Julian held me in his lap while she looked at the wound. She cleaned it with a clear solution. It hurt like hell and I groaned in displeasure. Julian slowly stroked the back of my free hand and held me to his chest. She quickly and efficiently bound my wrist up, and nodded to Julian once she was done.