woke. | II

hady

I don't remember the exact moment I realized I'd been having the same dream. One day I woke up with horror in my bones. I had felt this before. The fear pierced straight into my heart as I groped my blankets to me, closer and tighter as though it could save me from what was to come.

Sudden teenage death syndrome. That's what they call it. Throwing it under the only classification they can find. It sounds so clinical, like something read in the papers, never to have any kind of real encounter with. But the reality is far more sinister. They wrote it off as heart failure because nobody knew any better and I couldn't tell why teenagers were targeted. Maybe because we live in a society which shrugs us aside, brushing off any kind of excitement as another millennial trend. Even if it is entwined with hysteria. 

Rather than suspend their disbelief, adults always feel there is some logical explanation, always pretending things are less dire than they want to believe. And while they scrambled for science, we dropped like flies. The numbers increasing everyday and nobody knows why. Nobody awake, that is. 

I can hear it now, the eerie silence of white noise. Closing in like the very incarnate of claustrophobia. Tightening across the chest, blankness descending and enveloping sight and thought. A voiceless man ushering, beckoning. It is like an invasion of the mind, convincing that this somewhere between dreams and waking up is real.

That horrible chill sitting in the pit of my stomach had me sprinting for the toilet. After retching the remains of my stomach, I rested my cheek on the cool ceramic and crumpled to the floor. Now that I was truly awake, the fear resided abruptly, taking the nightmare with it. I tried to hang on to it, face scrunched in concentration. But it would not come back. It never does.

After dragging myself back to bed and checking to make sure I had set my alarm for school the next day, I found out just how redundant both actions were. I tossed and turned until morning light and trudged back into the bathroom to start the day.

morning sunshine ☼
boogeyman get you yet?

Alexis. She has some warped sense of humor. It's as though the whole universe is a big joke to her. I've known her since walking into the wrong classroom and insisting she was in my seat. But it's probably the best thing I've ever done, even if I did embarrass myself in front of a whole class of strangers because she's the best kind of friend to have. Strong and loyal with a no-nonsense attitude.

u r nxt I texted back before exiting the messenger and jumping into the forums. There's all kinds of stuff about these weird dreams on the web. It all started with a vlogger called Milana. Exotic looking girl, warm brown eyes, curious tattoos and long tanned legs. Dead, eight months after making a weird video titled 'THEY ARE OUT TO GET ME'.

Everyone thought it was creepy and kinda ignored it when it first dropped. She had seemed really out of it. Some asked if she was on drugs but many others thought it was just a stunt. I guess it's really hard to take someone seriously when she was always bringing you to brunch with her good looking friends and talking about makeup, fitness and fashion through your screen. But after she died, everyone started looking for answers and even though the official reports stated it was sudden death syndrome, there were those who thought it was a suicide by linking that odd video. It's now the go to for anyone who feels like they are haunted by the same ailment. Like it's a disease. 

Maybe in a way, it is.

Anyway, fast forward another year, a lot more kids have died. Most left clues on their social media and soon, it became a kind of cult. There's even an online support system. But no one has ever found a way to beat the eversleep. Apparently the nightmares get so bad your system just shuts down and while we now have the technology to keep the sleeper alive through machines and stuff, it's not something many people choose because 1. it's hella expensive, 2. you have to get them to the hospital in a specific time frame and 3. nobody has ever woken. After a while their families give up and they have to go through the process of losing the sleeper all over again.

After I was done with the forums, I checked up on the community's princess: Dana. Rich and delicately gorgeous. One of the firsts to follow Milana. It was eerie how the family kept her social media accounts alive even though she was technically gone. There are almost daily updates of her, pictures accompanied by some dedication from fans or relatives. Sometimes they even do a little livestream. What's even sicker is that aside from myself, 3 million other people can't seem to leave her alone. Our town's own little sleeping beauty. 

wtf are you?

It's one of Alexis' many quirks. She interchanges "what" and "where" as though people can read her mind.

here.

I scanned the carpark and spotted a figure engulfed in black, which only accentuates how fair she is. I raised my free arm. "Hoi!"

In a flash she was on me, "Have you checked the news?"

"If you have something to tell me, just spit it out." This earned me a little side eye from my girl, which I totally deserve, but after a night like what I had, I'm sure she would excuse my temper. "Yes, last night was shit."

She took my explanation with good grace and sidled up beside me before shoving her phone in my face. "I don't know what to look at first," I murmured, "How hot Daniel is-"

"I know, right?! It should be a sin to have such a good looking family! But... Do you even remember your dreams?"

"Alex," I rolled my eyes, "If I did, you know I would tell you. Maybe he's making it up. Wish fulfillment, that kind of thing." See, Daniel is Dana's twin brother and he made headlines in the nosleep community by saying he dreamt about her. I saw the link this morning but I didn't bother clicking due to its very clickbait nature: Brother Encounters Dead Twin. In a forum which has been trending for years, you'd think they had some sense to make it more coherent.

"It's creepy what he said about it though, listen: she told me not to be scared. Our lives here on Earth are only temporary anyway, and sometimes, you gotta take that leap of faith."

"Dude, not if that leap of faith means jumping to your death. Is he crazy? Doesn't he see his sister on life support every single day? Hot as he is, boy's got issues."

"I don't know Hady, I mean, maybe he's Neo." Classic Alexis. She's a movie buff and her head's stuck up in the clouds, which might not be the best combination when you're trying to hold a serious conversation with her. "Nobody remembers their dreams and here he is telling the world he saw Dana and even spoke to her."

I ignored the reference to The Matrix and asked, "What else did she say?"

"Apparently Daniel is holding her back from her dreams of becoming an astronaut."

"What?! That doesn't even make-" I broke off as she thrust her phone into my hands and I read the article for myself, "Haha, very funny... So aside from telling him to join her, she's trying to convince him that she's fine? Looks a lot like bull."

I swiveled around to stare at her square in the face while walking backwards, "Hypothetically speaking," I started, knowing she wouldn't be able to resist questions like these, "Why is it so scary?"

"Of course it has to be scary," She said real confidently, "The unknown always is. Maybe we need to prove ourselves before we can join wherever she is... Or maybe that's to stop pussies like you from joining them 'cause you won't be able to take it."

"That's nice, Alex." I stopped, wondering if I should even bring it up. But why not? "How bad has yours gotten? I think I tried to hurl my guts out." I tried a self depreciating laugh, but the silence was so deafening, I had to look at her. "What's wrong?"

"I didn't think I was going to wake up this morning." She said quietly. Now what do you say to that? The silence followed us to class and before I let her go, I gave her a hug. She has such a small frame, I wish I could protect her somehow. Although I would never mention that to her, tiny though she is, the girl's fire. 

"Okay, come on. Maybe I'll finally be proven right and I'll be right there waiting to shout I TOLD YOU SO." Like I said, she's got spirit. I smiled and nodded because I wanted to believe her. So bad.