woke. | II

hady

"I don't think Alex understands the severity of the situation," I tell Danny, "you saw it. It was... Like," She enjoyed it. She wanted it. The words bounced around in my head but I couldn't quite find one which fitted. But Daniel was patient and he waited, his eyes focused on me. Clear, blue and steady.

"It was like she was born for it." I ended lamely. It was after school and I was at the Everleighs'. We've filled Jason in as best as we could, leaving out no detail. If he was shocked at how the events took an abrupt downturn, he didn't show it. He even suggested hiring an instructor to give us lessons on self defence. Alex would be stoked and I don't know whether to be worried or relieved.

"It does seem like it, doesn't it?" Danny said with a curling smile which looked rueful. "Makes you wonder what's going through her head."

What goes through her head? It's like consequences don't register with her. She's always on the lookout for excitement. No, trouble. I couldn't help reliving the memories that flashed before my eyes. Her putting a glass of bright green liquid to her lips. When I had asked her where she got it from, all she did was say 'don't worry' before downing it all. I remember her laughter after a few boys catcalled. They had gotten up to confront her mocking ways but she stood her ground with that sparkle in her eye.

I know now she wasn't just defiant, it was something more than that.

I've a half-discarded theory about how deep down inside, there are some unresolved abandonment issues caused by her mother that manifests in self destructive ways. Although, it is so subtle, you'd miss it if you weren't looking. It's so subtle that even I have dismissed it over and over. But now I find it glaring me in the eyes, asking if I was just denying a truth I didn't want to face.

It could be unrelated and she is jut unreasonably impulsive.

A sigh escaped and I slumped back into my seat, watching Cam beep as though he was a machine that's just been powered off.

"You know her well, don't you?" Danny said kindly and I just nodded. There were some intimacies that are born from close bonds that should not be shared. I won't betray Alex by discussing her psyche with someone else. Some things have to be gained through experience and observation.

"Kinda messes with your head, doesn't it? Eversleep."

I look up, appreciative that he's trying to keep up a conversation. "Yeah, no shit, Sherlock."

And then, I laughed.

"Sherlock's this detective guy, I don't know, Alex is totally into pop culture from the past. It's like she's meant for another century. The previous one."

"It quite makes sense, they were quite violent back then." His voice was gently teasing.

"You don't think she's overreacting?" I asked, thinking about the time I found her in bed drenched in blood. She seemed so fragile and fearful then, as compared to this killing machine she is now. The change so drastic, it honestly terrified me a little.