woke. | II

alex

I stood about a foot away from my bed before gathering the courage to pop by my dad's room. "I love you, daddy." I said. The words felt childish in my mouth and all he did was nod. He's probably used to me being all random by now. "I might not wake up tomorrow and I wanted you to know that."

"You will." He didn't even bother looking up from his phone.

My room felt emptier and colder than I've ever known. I have always liked the dark. My walls are painted black, not a picture in sight, aside from one Hadilynn insisted on framing and setting on my dresser. I didn't have the heart to throw it out and I suspected she might have known that.

"Ok, just dive right in. I want to go to whatever place all sleepers go, I don't mind dying tonight." I murmured to myself, but most importantly, I want to know more. I want to come back alive with the answer in my brain. "No. No! You want to follow Dana." I said with an air of finality before diving into my bed and cosying up under the covers.

Sleep did not come easy, but when it finally took me, it was in waves of terror. There were stages to it, inexplicable horror, fear of the unknown, dread settling itself deep in my bones. All kinds of panic cresting in waves until suddenly, peace. The calm stifles everything out for just a moment, and I try to enjoy it... Until trepidation sets in and I have myself convinced that this is it, I'm going to die.

It sounds a lot like sinking into the ocean with a rock tied to your feet. You try to fight it at first until you realize there is nothing to fight, it is nothing more than a lost cause. So you relax and try to die with as much dignity as you can until you realize your lungs are burning. They are on fire and you need to breathe. That's when you struggle against the dying light. Only this time, I don't.

I sunk as deep as I could without freaking out. Dana, Dana, Dana. I kept her in my thoughts.

"Alexis!" It was barely a hiss but I sat upright in bed to an empty room. Do you know how disorientating it is to go from flat to 90 degrees? A shudder went through me and I didn't know what else to do but to get out of bed. I stood listlessly by till it began to feel silly. I choked back a horrified laugh and padded to the kitchen to get myself a glass to drink.

"Hey, you're still here." My dad joked from where he was in front of the tv. Now you know where I get it from.

i failed.

I sent it to Hadilynn, not expecting a reply but there it was, not 2 seconds after I sent my message. 

did you hear me?

I swear, if this were the movies, you'd see a glass falling to the ground in complete silence and hear the most deafening crash. But this isn't and I had better sense than that. I set my glass on the counter and replied as quick as I can, heart thudding in my ears.

what
what u mae n
what u talkig abt

Damn the typos. She'll get it. Fingers were trembling at this point and then the phone rang.

I picked it up and cursed at her, everything coming out in a rush. "What are you talking about Hady because that ain't funny."

"Did you hear me call your name?"

A chill went down my spine. I swallowed.

"Well, I'm awake now aren't I?" In the silence that followed, you could hear us trying to figure it out.

"I heard you, Hady." I whispered while she said in the same muted tones, "What does it mean?" At almost the same time.

"Way to kill my dramatic effect, man. But I don't know. I'm afraid of going to sleep but at the same time, I really wanna find out what has been killing my vibe." I thought of a moment, "You know what, let's continue this in our dreams." And with that I hung up. I didn't think it was truly possible. I'm not that much of a sucker. I believe less than half of the shit I say. But I went back to bed, entirely doubtful it would actually work.

"So! Anymore weird dreams last night?" Hady asked me when I got to school, "Surprisingly, I slept like a baby." I answered. I don't recall having slept that well in such a long time, "Think we should tell Daniel about it? That he was wrong about the whole thing? Grabbing a sleepsake meant you're getting better and not worse!" I grinned. I haven't felt so rejuvenated in such a long time. 

"Yeah! I'll text him now." I raised an eyebrow at that, "Ooooh, you're at that stage." I teased before laughing. Giddily. We were going to be fine. We have been freaking out over nothing. 

"Alex..." Hady started in that voice I hated. It spelt trouble. It invited it. "When did you text me?"

"Huh? I didn-" But she shoved her phone in my face and I saw the words clearly.

i failed.

"What the..." I continued reading our messages and felt an onset of chills, "Dude, that was last night. Like, not more than 5 hours ago! Is this some kind of joke?"

"That would be a very sick joke..." Hady mumbled, but I could see her pull up the messaging app and her fingers were a flurry as she texted Daniel.

creepy things are happening. no dreams last night but woke up to this.

She forwarded a screenshot of our conversation. "You know..." I started, "Why are we bothering with him anyway? It's not like he knows any more than we do."

"I guess, maybe because he's been through it before. It makes me feel less alone, like maybe... Maybe we can fight this." I could hear hope. And some despair. 

"Or maybe, he's the man of your dreams." Honestly, I believe if you deliver cringe with a whole lot of confidence, you're totally able to get away with it. And there is it, a smile. 

"Oh Alex, you really are something." But the sadness doesn't lift, I can practically hear her brain whirring away.

"Give it a rest, before your brain melts." I touched her forehead, "YOWZA, what's that? Like 60 degrees?!" She grabbed my arm and hooked it to her before complaining, "You are a pain in the ass, you know that? I can't have 5 minutes to be contemplative?"

I rolled my eyes and said as lightheartedly as I could, "Well, I made you smile, didn't I? Anyway, you'll have plenty of time to be emo when I'm no longer around." I grinned. Sorry, not sorry.