Colliding with Fate (Published under Pop Fiction)

Proposal

I can’t breathe.

Figuratively, of course.

No wonder the guys are complaining when they have to sleep in the bus. Because the truth is, you can't really sleep inside the car. The space is cramp. I can't even stretch my legs, even though I'm not blessed in the height department. And my back! Oh dear, it feels like someone sat on it. I can't even take a nap. How can I rest then? And how does the band spend their time travelling when they can't sleep?

KY is still not talking to me, well except for the times when he needs something which barely happens. Ever since the jacket incident, it’s as if I lost my credibility. He doesn’t even trust me anymore.

I feel miserable, yeah, but there’s nothing I can do about it. Like Lance said before, KY is KY.

And I’m still pinning over him which is stupid because I’ll just get hurt. It’s so obvious that he doesn’t like me. He acts as if I don’t exist.

Meanwhile, I become closer to Nate. He never gets tired of teasing me, especially now that we live in a closed space, our bunk beds side by side; it’s hard to ignore him. Not that I want to. I’m not crazy; Nate is hot. No, I mean, he is very good looking. I saw him shirtless before. Actually, countless of times already. He’s mostly shirtless when we’re travelling, it’s not like the bus is musty or anything. He doesn’t flaunt (he doesn’t need to) I just learned that he’s comfortable that way. His body—

Let’s just say it’s distracting.

Lance and I even had an awkward conversation about it. It’s still fresh from my mind.

“Do you like Nate?” he asked.

“No,” I answered.

“You’re always staring at him.”

“I’m not,” I denied.

“Look, about the rules—“

“Seriously, no,” I said. I’m glad that he thought it was Nate that I have a crush on, and not KY.

“We can forget that specific rule if you like him,” he continued.

“Are you kidding?”

“No,” he said. “It’s only applicable to Yves. We didn’t agree to it.”

He shouldn’t have said anything. It only made me wistful.

For the past couple of concerts, I made sure that I only go where I’m needed. I didn’t look around and just stayed with the band. It’s my job in the first place.

But today, I want to roam. The concert will not start in a couple of hours. The guys are practicing, and because the venue is big, there are more staffs than before.

I walk outside, passing the frantic crews on my way. They’re all busy with their work. I hope tonight will be a success. It’s another sold out show.

I enjoy people watching, so when I see the queuing line, I look for interesting people.

Whenever I’m observing, I always hide my staff ID. I can’t let people know that I have a backstage pass. They will try and plead that I’ll introduce them to the band. That happened the first time.  I only felt sorry for them because I couldn’t help them. I can’t let one person have a backstage pass because there’s no doubt he or she will tell his or her friends about it. Then they will all want a backstage tour. I can’t risk my job.