Carved Happiness ( Jeff the Killer x reader )

Chapter twentythree

I'm really trying to make this story great, but I'm not that great at writing and running out of ideas. Anyway, I will be making chapters a little shorter (but better) and I'm planning on ending this story around chapter 30 (don't take my word for it, that's just a estimate)

A couple of weeks ago we drove back to the apartment, which I then remembered after Jeff told me about. Everything seemed the same as always, but there was something different. There was a holographic knife on my mattress, and I'm sure that Jeff rather do anything but use a knife like that.

"I was going to give it to you--the day you got captured, I mean," Jeff mumbled walking away. I smile a bit. Looks like somebody didn't change. I stuck out my tongue as he got out of sight. I picked up the holographic knife and examined it. I doubt I'd be allowed to go on my own, but I guess this is just for reassurance. I sat on my mattress, and tapped my feet on the wooden floorboards. I've always been on the run, so just chilling out is foreign to me. No more blood stained walls, no more Eric, no more stress.

"Jeff?" I called out. I heard his long sigh from here. He walked out of his room, and came into sight.

"What?" He yawned. I noticed he was putting stuff on his face to make it seem that his smile wasn't there. My heart sank a little.

"Are you going out...?" I asked. He nodded. It's only been a couple weeks, but I bet that he's going to start trouble and we'll have to move again. I do not want to go through that process again.

"Can I come?" I asked hopefully. I heard his god-awful chuckle once more.

"Not where I'm going, Y/N," he said. Not where he's going? I was about to ask where he was going, but he went back into his room. What a conversationalist. He never really told me anything, now that I think about it.

"At least tell me where you're going!" I yelled. No answer. I cursed him out under my breath, and played with my new knife. Thinking he can buy my happiness, hmm. Well, he's right. He did buy my temporary happiness. He never really makes me happy without being an asshole, really. He made me smile that one time, but then we had to run away from the cops. Which I made friends with. Sorta fell for. Then watched that guy along with his backup literally die. Ugh. I just have to pretend none of these events occurred or I'd lose my mind, and it takes a lot to keep me mentally stable since I've seen...too much for somebody like me. Somebody like me is weak, irrational, stupid, not self aware, desperate, sensitive, and will do anything for the one person she loves. If it means forgetting the awful things he did, fine. If it means risking my life, I'm okay with that. Even if it means forgiving him for unforgivable stuff, then that's what's going to happen. Girls do stupid things for love that will go overlooked by the ones they love. It's tragic, but that's the truth. I'd do everything for Jeff, and he tries to give me a decent life...but I just want his attention. I don't care about knifes or an apartment or anything, I just want his attention.

He then walked out the door without a word. Why is he like this all of the sudden. He kissed me, but I'm probably just reading way into this.  Sure he kissed me, but he did that last time and ran off to Vivian. What's wrong with me? Vivian looked like me, but he still ran off to her. Am I annoying? Weird? What the hell do I have to do?