Sticks and Stones • Park Jimin

vi.

Jimin went back to class with a warm feeling in his chest, one that he couldn't define, not for lack of words, but for lack of frequency. It wasn't a feeling he was familiar with. It wasn't the sharp burning he felt when he heard the word ugly. It wasn't the bright stabbing he felt when he heard the word short. It wasn't the humiliating burn he felt when he heard the word tiny.

He supposed it was happiness. Some form of it, at least.

Happiness. Something he was no longer familiar with. Until now.

He walked into his classroom with a smile on his face.

His mistake.

"Why are you so happy?" Kyung-soo asked, sneering, and the warmth Jimin felt became an uncomfortable burning. He wanted to be so small that Kyung-soo couldn't see him, that nobody could see him, that he would simply cease to be.

Jimin ignored Kyung-soo. That was one of the methods of supposed success, he knew. Ignore them. Don't give them a reaction. Don't let them see you upset or hurt or angry or vulnerable or happy or sad or anything. Don't let them see you as human.

"Why are you so happy, you ugly piece of trash?" Kyung-soo growled as he shoved Jimin's shoulder while Jimin was in mid-step.

He felt the desk bite into his side, but he pushed himself off its sharp edge and stood back up straight, even as his side screamed. "No reason," Jimin mumbled. He was only allowed to mumble. The louder he was, the more assertive he appeared to be. Kyung-soo didn't like shows of assertion.

"You won't have a reason after I'm finished with you," Kyung-soo said, being clever as always and spinning Jimin's words around. Some kids laughed. Jimin didn't know who. He didn't learn their names. Because it went both ways. If he wasn't a human to them, they weren't humans to him.

But why was he the only one hurting?

"Okay," Jimin mumbled. There was never another answer for Kyung-soo. It was "okay" or "yes" when Kyung-soo wanted it to be yes. It was "no" when Kyung-soo wanted it to be no. Kyung-soo was the law, and Jimin had to obey it.

But Jimin wanted to break the law.

"I don't know why you're happy, but just remember that you'll never have anything or anybody," Kyung-soo said sharply, still trying to find out the source of Jimin's unexpected smile, but Jimin's lips stayed shut.

He would give Kyung-soo all the yes's and no's that he wanted.

But he would never give up Taehyung's name.