Sticks and Stones • Park Jimin

xiii.

"Jimin's so small, he can't even-"

Jimin missed the punchline. He wasn't really paying that much attention to Kyung-soo anyways. Maybe it was because he'd become somewhat desensitized to it all.

Or maybe it was because he was thinking about other things.

At the moment, he was thinking of Jin, the boy he'd found crying in the hallway. Jin hadn't joined them for lunch on the roof ever since he had had a slight falling out with Taehyung and Jungkook on account of his insulting their attractiveness, but Jin had promised Jimin that he would come today.

Jimin realized a second too late that he was supposed to act wounded by Kyung-soo's comment, and even after he shifted his eyes downward, he could tell that Kyung-soo wasn't satisfied.

"What's wrong with you?" Kyung-soo growled. "You think that you're better than us or some shit like that?"

"No," Jimin said.

"Then why do you look so happy? Who gave you the right to be happy?" Kyung-soo demanded.

Jimin hesitated. "Everyone has the right to be happy..." he began, but he stopped when he saw Kyung-soo's expression.

It was at that moment that Jimin knew.

He screwed up.

"Everyone?" Kyung-soo asked. "Maybe most people. But you're not even a person. You're lower than a person. You're nothing. Nobody cares about you, and nobody ever will. Not because you're fat or ugly or short, but because you were born as a nobody and that will never change. No matter how hard you try, you'll always be what you are right now: trash."

Jimin stared down at his desk.

Always?

My life will always be like this?

Every day, new pain joining the old?

It won't stop?

It won't get better?

I won't be okay?

Kyung-soo leaned in and lowered his voice. "You know it, inside of you. Something's wrong with you, different from the rest of us. It doesn't matter where you go. You'll always be the outsider, the one who doesn't fit in, the one who sticks out, the one who nobody wants to be. Maybe people make fun of you because they're scared of being you. But as long as you're alive, you'll always be that person. It doesn't matter if you stop being ugly or fat or short - none of which will happen, mind you - because you'll still be the one. Nobody will love you because they're afraid that you'll run off on them, that they'll become hated and outcast too. You'll always be alone Jimin. So whatever it is that you think makes you happy - give it time. It'll shatter. And when it does, it'll break you."

Then Kyung-soo pulled away, and Jimin bit down on his teeth to hold back a reply. Not that he had one.

Because Kyung-soo had been right. Jimin did know it deep down inside.

But my new friends, they won't do that to me, right?

They won't...

Will they?