Sticks and Stones • Park Jimin

Extra: Kyung-soo

Kyung-soo never wore belts, even at the age of 16. He hated the feel of the leather, the sound it made as it brushed against his pants and through the belt loops, the feeling of constriction it presented.

Jimin wore a belt. Jimin was the kid in class who would always pick up your pencil if you dropped it and say "God bless you" if you sneezed. He was the kid who always had an extra pen for you to borrow.

Jimin was perfect.

Kyung-soo was not.

He wanted to be, though. Every day, he'd stand in front of the mirror in his room. He'd stare at the belts. He'd imagine putting one of them on.

But if he got as far as reaching out a hand, the hand would start shaking. He could never bring himself to touch the leather. But he knew what it felt like. He didn't want to.

***

What was it that bothered him so much about Park Jimin? He just couldn't put a finger on it. Or at east, not on one thing.

Maybe it was the belt that bothered him, that Jimin could wear one when he couldn't. Maybe it was Jimin's smile. That Jimin was able to smile. Because Kyung-soo knew without a doubt that Jimin could smile because he didn't know what it meant to frown, that he didn't have a reason to frown, that he had never had to force his smile because someone else was forcing him to. That bothered Kyung-soo. It also bothered him, the ease at which Jimin went through life. Jimin never hit any obstacles. He came to school with a lunch packed by his mom, his talked politely with his classmates even though they didn't do anything for him, and then he went back home to his perfect family and his perfect house and his perfect-

Kyung-soo hated perfect. He hated it because he had to try so hard to fake it when it came naturally to Jimin.

Kyung-soo came to realize that Jimin was his opposite. Where Jimin was light, Kyung-soo was dark. Where Jimin was kind, Kyung-soo knew nothing of kindness. Where Jimin was happy, Kyung-soo was suffering.

It made Kyung-soo think. If Jimin was his opposite...If Jimin was happy when Kyung-soo was suffering...

If Kyung-soo made Jimin suffer, would he be happy?

***

You're ugly. You're ugly. You're ugly-

"You're ugly."

-Kyung-soo.

Jimin looked up, his eyes widening in surprise. "Kyung-soo?"

"You're ugly," Kyung-soo said, the words from his memories, from his nightmares, entering into the physical realm.

Jimin didn't know what to say.

"Isn't he ugly?" Kyung-soo asked, turning slightly to see his classmates watching them.

"Yeah," said a squat boy in the back with a face that looked like it had been shoved on a stove and systemically flattened while burning. "Jimin's so ugly."

A few more kids spoke up, clustering around Kyung-soo.

What is this feeling, this warmth?

Kyung-soo looked around him at the kids who were looking up to him, waiting for him to lead them. Friends, he supposed. Something he'd never really had.

He liked the feeling, the feeling of people noticing him, of people wanting to be him, just like they'd all wanted to be Park fricking Jimin.

Kyung-soo watched it all happen slowly. Watched Jimin's friends become his friends. Watched Jimin's popularity become his popularity.

Watched Jimin's happiness become his happiness.