Stay

Chapter thirty-three

Jessie and I finally let go of each other after what felt like a lifetime in each other's arms. I ruffle his curly hair before standing up and stretching, being sat on the grass for so long has caused my back to ache.

Helping Jessie up I ask, "Why have you never called the police?" I can tell he knows what I'm talking about by the shine in his eyes.

"Because Lola is young. To her, our father is a knight in shining armour. She needs him and I don't want her to grow up seeing me as the bad guy who pushed our father away. No matter how much he deserves it." Jessie also stands up, brushing the freshly cut grass off his jeans as I begin to walk back to the main road.

We walk in silence for a while and I can't help the anxiety building in my stomach as images flash through my head. I should have known or at least thought about Jessie, his fresh black eye every month should've made it clear enough. But I didn't notice and I'm not sure I can ever forgive myself for that.

"Do you think Layla knows?" He asks, breaking me out of thought. "About the affair?" It takes me a moment to process his words. These past few days have been such a blur that it didn't even enter my head that Layla could know. That maybe her reasoning for backing off is because she has realized that I now know too.

"She might." I pause for a moment as I remember this is Layla we are talking about, "But if she does, she's doesn't look very hurt about it." I snap, my anger getting the better of me and Jessie throws his hands up in defence.

"Only asking." He replies.

We continue walking down the back alley behind my house. It usually filled with children riding bikes, people walking their dogs and the odd anti-social person walking with both head phones in listening to blaring music - otherwise known as me. But now as we enter the middle of winter, there is no one and it almost feels more peaceful that way.

"You know," I begin, "In the meeting today, I was so mad at my dad. I couldn't even look at him and instead I made eye contact with Layla. For the first time, I wasn't afraid of her. It was like she felt the same way I did, felt the same anger."

My head is pounding with questions. I want to know everything. When it began, how long it's been going on for and most importantly does my mum already know? She's been acting so strange recently. Like when she left the house in a mess, the photo frame she had smashed and when she yelled at me to get out... Was that the day she found out about the betrayal?

The wave of questions causes my skin to become hot and clammy at the realization that the one person who may be able to answer me is Layla herself.

"Whoa, Maddie! Calm, breath." Jessie stops and places his hands on my shoulders as he looks my straight in the eyes. His voice strong and demanding as he repeats his words. "Breath."

But I can't help it as I become overwhelmed with the words "What if..." The words spiral around my head so fast I lose control of everything.

Jessie helps me kneel down on the concrete floor as my whole body begins to tremble.

"What's wrong. What are you thinking?" He asks, kneeling down next to me.

"I need to talk, to talk to Layla about, about the affair. But what if she, if she... Layla hates me, she won't want to talk to me." I stutter, grabbing hold of Jessie's hand for support.

"Why don't we message her instead? Together. You don't have to speak face to face if you don't want to. We could just Facebook message her or something." Jessie pulls out his smashed-up phone and hands it to me.

"What happened to it?" I ask, the random question popping into my head. But at least the thought helps lessen the panic.

"I dropped it while walking," He pauses noticing my slight smile, "Cause I'm a goof."

Looking down at the phone, I open messenger on Layla's account. Jessie squeezes my hand as I begin to type and hope for the best.