A Home For Zoe

Fear (Edited)

Warning: Flashbacks include strong language.

"Sometimes I wish I could erase all my memories.
I think things would be easier."

Zoe

What I remember most is the fear, the overwhelming fear that appeared every time I heard a noise. Because I knew what was coming if it was him, I remember sitting, jumping at the smallest sound.

When the Cooper's finally send me away they move me to the Madison's. My stupid heart fills with hope as we walk up the driveway to the front door.

When my social worker knocks on the door and it swings open to reveal a rumpled lady with a cigarette in the corner of her mouth. My heart drops, this is not going to be a good place.

That night after my social worker left and my new foster mom shoved me into a closet sized room screaming the whole time, "You worthless child, you better not be any trouble. I can't handle it. A little bit of cash ain't worth a splitting headache. Stay quiet you little bitch."

After she slams the door in my face I curl in on myself, crying quietly.

Hours later Mr. Madison walks in. I am terrified, I have no idea what will happen. Mr. Madison grabs on to me and runs a hand down my side.

Something about it made me very uncomfortable, and I scooted away from his hands. "You little bitch," he sneers, "You better learn to respect me."

I'm terrified, Mr. Madison grabs my wrists and pushes his body on top of mine.

I was only 9 years old when I was in that house. Every day for the whole 6 months I was in that house, that was my life. Mrs. Madison may have yelled and screamed at me all day, but it was the nights I feared the most. Because at night Mr. Madison would arrive at my room, touch me and hurt me.

I know the Bradley's will never love me if they knew the things I've done, the things done to me. I know I don't belong here. I'm dirty and broken and worthless.