A Home For Zoe

Hate (Edited)

"I always questioned why they didn't want me, but then I realized it didn't matter, you wanted me."

Chloe

I can't believe any of this is happening. I know I've been curious, asking Cason questions, I know I've always wondered why my nose is shaped the way it is. Why my hair is so thick? And most importantly, why couldn't they take care of us? But now that I actually have the opportunity to find out, I don't think I can do it.

That night Cason comes into my room and sits down on my bed. He is silent for a long time then he asks, "What are you thinking."

I pull my knees up to my chest and shrug, "I have no idea."

"You've had questions," he points out.

"But asking you a question is different. I don't think I'm ready for anything else."

Cason scoots back in the bed till he's right next to me and puts an arm around my shoulders, "Yeah, me neither." He breathes. I let go of my knees to snuggle closer to into his side.

There's a knock on my door, it's Mom. "Hey guys," she says gently and comes to join us on the bed, "I know this is a lot." She wraps her arm around both of us.

"Do you want us to go?" Cason asks.

"I want you to do what you feel ready for." She replies.

"That's not an answer."

She sighs, "I think you deserve a chance to ask questions. I think this is a unique opportunity to do so."

Cason doesn't reply. Mom takes both of our hands.

"I think that meeting with your birth mom, is just that, a meeting with your birth mom, and that it won't change a thing."

I suck in a deep breath, I hadn't even realized I was worried about that, but I was. Going to this meeting would feel like a betrayal of everything they've done for us. Once glance at Cason tells me he'd thinking the same thing.

"How do you do that?" I ask.

Mom laughs, "Do what?"

"Know what we're thinking before we do?"

Mom just smiles and kisses both our foreheads, "Because I'm your Mom."

I smile back, then turn to Cason, "I'll go if you'll go."

He looks from me to Mom and back again, "Okay." He whispers.

My foot is tapping nervously on the floor of the car, Cason reaches over and holds on to my hand.

The car turns and we pull into the parking lot at social services. I stare up at the familiar building, I practically grew up here.

Dad finds a parking stop close to the entrance, and we all climb out of the car. Cason keeps a tight hold on my hand.

I try not to cry as we walk towards the building. Finally, we get inside and up the stairs where a kind looking lady leads us to a room in the back. Mom reaches over and gives my free hand a squeeze, "It's going to be fine," she looks at Cason, "I promise."

I take a deep breath as Cason reaches out and opens the door.

The women who was once my mother sits in a chair, looking just like I remember her, not that I remember much.

I have to fight the desire to turn tail and run and settle for shifting closer to my Mom's side.

"My babies, look at you, all grown up," The woman who gave birth to me, says.

Cason's words are bitter and his voice doesn't sound like his own, "Yeah, your kids tend to grow up without you when you abandon them."

I give him a look, I've never heard him sound so, well, mean. Mom puts a hand on his arm and his shoulders sag.

"Sorry," he mutters.

"That's okay," the women says, "I probably deserve that." she turns her attention to our parents, "I'm glad you found such a good home."

Cason's shoulders slump and Dad wraps an arm around him. "Me too," Cason whispers.

My birth mom turns her attention to me, "Chloe," she says softly and I suck in a breath, it's strange to hear my name come out of her mouth.

I shift uncomfortably, "Um...Hi." I manage.

She smiles tentatively, "Why don't we sit down. I'm sure you both have questions for me."

We all take seats at the small round table and I take a deep breath and open my mouth.

My hand tightens around the small slip of paper in my hand that contains my birth mother's number, as we walk out to the car. Honestly, I'm not sure if I'll ever use it but it's nice to have the option. It's even nicer to be leaving this place to go home to my family. Cason meets my eyes over the car as we open our doors and smiles, and everything is okay.