FAITH || Izuku Midoriya X Reader

Chapter Eleven: Reassurance

[ IMPORTANT A/n: I just want everyone to know that in this chapter there is a description of a form of a panic attack, so this is a trigger warning just in case anyone is sensitive to the topic!! ]

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I entered Recovery Girls office for a checkup after yesterdays events. I didn't want to worry anyone so I came to Recovery Girl and asked her to keep it a secret. 

"It seems like your condition is becoming worst. These pills aren't going to be able to keep your quirk under control nor that burning sensation, I'm sorry Honey," The look in her eyes was a mixture of fear and pity. (A/n: even tho they like closed all the time..)

"Oh god, what am I gonna do? What if I hurt somebody? I-I don't want to be the cause of someones'--" I cut myself off as tears started to gather around my eyes. I look at Recovery Girl with sad eyes.

Pleading for a solution.

"Shh, honey calm down. Some professionals and I are working on something. You just need to hold on a little longer," her voice was calming.

"What if I get out of control before you come up with a solution?"

"I don't know," she looked away in fear.

'How can I blame her for being scared? I'm a monster,'  

Before she could get any closer to me I took a step back, gripping my hair out of frustration as I crouched down burying my face in my knees.

"...no...no...no no no no..."  

It felt as if I was being suffocated, maybe overwhelmed. My lungs feel like they were going to collapse, making it hard to breathe. I could hear every little sound but at the same time heard loud static. My vision gets hazy as cries of help got stuck in my throat. Stomach twisting and turning every passing second. All of my senses were messed up. 

I could hear a faint but clear voice call my name but my hearing was so fucked up I couldn't tell who's voice it was.  

"(Y-.../n).../n)!"

Too busy with trying to get my breathing under control I didn't even notice the voice was now right next to me trying to get me to focus on their voice.

"Listen to me, look, look, lift your head up I'm right in front of you," 

I was trying so hard to focus on their voice I didn't even feel them gently lift my head to look at them. But even through my hazy vision, I could see two warm-looking eyes staring are back at mine.

"(Y/n), look, see I'm right here, try to focus on my voice while looking at me," I didn't even notice the tears that started to stream down my face as I saw him.

He wiped my tears away as they streamed down while pulling me to the floor, out of my uncomfortable crotched position I was in, my hands landing on his forearms to stabilize myself the best I could.

"Good, you're doing great, follow me? Look at my chest see how I'm breathing slowly try to copy my breathing..." Pushing the hair out of my face so I could try to get a better look at him. 

"Breathe in,"

"Breathe out," 

"Breathe in,"

"And out again,"

I could see a blurry smile form on his lips as he notices my breathing has calmed down and under control.

"Great,  you're doing great...Can you tell me what my name is?"

I looked back at his face as I saw his warm eyes again but now this time I was trying to pinpoint more features of him. 

Big warm looking eyes,

A soft caring voice,

Soft looking hair,

"I-Izuku?..." I choke out the best I could.

"Yes, that's good, can you tell me three things you can feel?"

Taking a deep breath in I try to focus on what I could feel.

"T-the...the ground, y-your arms, my s-shirt,"

Izuku gently rubbed my shoulders, in reassurance that he as still there.

"Great, how about four things you can see?"

"Y-your hair, white s-sheets, sunshine, a-and your green eyes," I barely managed to say above a breathy whisper. I could feel Izuku pull me into a warm hug as he asked one more question.

"How about things you can hear?" He softly asked rubbing circles on my back.

I closed my eyes breathing slowly trying to focus on the small sound that filled the room.

"The birds outside, wind, breathing, and your...your heartbeat," Silence full upon us as an embarrassing aroma filled the room. 

"It's that loud, huh?" 

---

I ended up telling Uncle Toshi about my condition along with Recovery Girl. He didn't have the reaction I thought he would though. I thought he would have a similar one to Recovery Girl's, instead, he just nodded his head and hugged me, telling me we'll get through this together. 

Our talked lasted until it was lunchtime where I would usually sit alone somewhere. But as I got my food Izuku called for me.

"(Y/n)?" He jogged towards me.

"Yea,"

"Do you want to sit with me and the others?" He asked his cheeks dusted pink, looking at me in curiosity.

I sighed out thinking if it would be okay for me to just join their group out of nowhere. I looked over at his table which includes, Iida and Uraraka.

"Is it okay for me to just join your table? I mean, I know I'm friends with Uraraka, but..."

Izuku grabbed my shoulder and nodded as he smiled. His hand fell down to grab my hand walking me to their table.

"Hey, Guys! Hope you don't mind but can (Y/n) sit with us?"

"Sure! I don't know why you didn't sit with us in the first place (N/n)!" Uraraka scolded me playfully.

"I don't see why not?" Iida said moving over so Izuku could sit down next to him as I sat down next to Uraraka.

We talked about a lot of things especially about what had happened while I was gone, telling me stories about Izuku and how much he worried about me. Jokes where being made constantly, as I laughed along with them.

My laughter died down as they all still were laughing. 

I looked at Izuku's smiling face as his laugh fell from his mouth.

Suddenly realization struck me and I looked around at my friends.

Izuku, Uraraka, and Iida. 

My friends.

"You okay (Y/n)?" Izuku asked me, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Of course! You worried broccoli!" A few more jokes were made along with my comment from Uraraka as laughter filled the table once more.

Reassurance washed over me as I realized...

I wasn't alone anymore.

=================

[ Unedited ]

Word Count: 1152

Sorry, it feels rushed! also if you have any questions about the plot so fare ask and I'll answer them, cause i just reread this book and notice some huge plot holes, to me at least!