I Will Be The Best (malec fanfiction)

Chapter Five: Alec's P.O.V

I awoke in my own room the next morning. Izzy and Jace had tried to keep me in the infirmary but I didn't want to be in there, so when everyone else had gone to sleep I snuck down the hall, and back into the comfort of my own bed. I still have a slight discomfort from my wound, but nothing hurt as much as the pain that I felt deep inside my chest. For the past week or so my feelings have been kept to myself, I don't let the show around anyone at any time.

I told Magnus I didn't want, nor need his help. But it was a big fat lie. I told him that I wanted him gone, that too had been a lie.

And the truth of the matter is that I just wanted him to come and lay beside me in that hard as cardboard bed and let me snuggle into his chest. To kiss me like he used to and tell me that it'd all be ok. But most of all, I wanted him to listen to me, and understand why I was talking to Camille in the first place.  I want him. No, scratch that. I need him.

I was currently staring at my ceiling, thinking about how I could get him back. If I could get him back that is. With a deep sigh I turned onto my side and went from staring at the ceiling to staring at the blank wall in front of me.

What if the only reason he even came to save your sorry ass if because Izzy used half of the family savings as payment? I tried to shake the ridiculous thoughts out of my head, but it seemed to take forever to get them to go away.

After I got my thoughts under control I got up and walked over to my desk, taking in my surroundings as I did. I've been keeping my room pretty much immaculate. It was clean before, but there would be random sweaters or books somewhere, now everything had its place, and it went there when I was done using it. After all, if I was going to be the best, I better clean like the best.

I sat down at my desk and opened the top drawer, taking out the box I stole from Izzy's room. It was labeled with a simple red heart that was drawn in sharpie, which I stole from Clary's bag. I opened the lid of the box and saw the pictures that lay inside.

I know I probably should get rid of them, but no matter how strong I get, I still can't bring myself to do it. I miss him too much. Even though I would never let my emotions get the best of me when I'm in front of other people, it didn't matter right now, mostly because I was alone.

Yes, it has only been a week or so. Yes, I am the one who fucked up and caused all of this to happen. Yes I am the one who was a cold hearted dick to Magnus. And yes, I am the one who told him to go away the last time I saw him.

I took out the top picture, I had taken all of them off of my walls and dresser, but they stayed in the box. I guess I had a little spark of hope that we could work this out, and then I could proudly put them back where they belong.

The first picture was the one of Magnus and me in Ireland; he had somehow talked me into wearing a purple and gold kilt. His was the same color, just with more glitter. In the picture he has his arm around my waist and he was kissing my cheek.

The next one was the one we took when we were in Washington D.C, Magnus had somehow managed to sit on Lincolns lap at the memorial, and I was the one who took the picture while the police stood at the feet, confusion clear across their faces.

I felt the warm tears stream silently down my face as I looked through the pictures and thought about the happy time we had, and even the silly little arguments. Like how Magnus had forgotten to feed the cat or he had gotten glitter on my favorite jacket, or how I dumped an entire jar of glitter.

I kept looking at the pictures until I couldn't take it anymore. Finally, I got up and grabbed my jacket from my bed and my wallet from my dresser. Then I walked over to my window, opened it, and climbed out. I stepped onto the ledge poking from my window and let the wind blow through my disheveled hair. I scaled down the ledge and dropped to the ground, and realizing that it's moments like this that make me glad I'm a shadowhunter and not a mundane.