Chapter 35 - Going home by herself

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Tessa froze right in her spot. What the hell was going on? Had Harry been with Taylor the entire night? Had he entirely forgotten about this being Tessa’s last evening in London? Or didn’t he care? Tessa felt so confused. She knew they weren’t official boyfriend and girlfriend or anything, but they had made their feelings pretty clear towards each other. Had he not meant a word of what he had been saying? Or was this just a misunderstanding? Tessa was over the whole reacting without an explanation thing - since that hadn’t been a great option the last time so she took a deep breath before walking through the crowd and tapping Harry on his shoulder.

He quickly turned around and he was clearly confused. „Babe, hey! So good to see you,” he stated and swung his arm around her waist - which caused a reluctant Taylor Swift to let go of him. „Harry, Taylor,” Tessa nodded towards to two of them and right now she was glad she had only ordered a water earlier - with more alcohol in her blood she probably wouldn’t be able to stop herself from slapping that satisfied smirk of Taylor’s face. „Tessa, so good to see you again - but what exactly do you want?” Taylor said and sent her an overly fake smile. „Actually I was just on my way to the bathroom when I noticed Harold here, and I thought I would tell him that Zayn, Perrie and I were leaving - since everybody else already went home,” Tessa explained and kept her eyes on Taylor. „Did they already leave?” Harry slurred and took a look at his watch. „Fuck it’s late,” he stated and frustrated ran his hand through his curls. „But we had such a good night, right Harry?” Taylor and put her hand on his chest flirtatious.

Tessa felt a need to grab Taylor’s hand and pull it of Harry, she felt sick just by looking at them - but she knew there was nothing she could do. Tessa left early tomorrow - and Taylor would still be here visiting Ed, so if Harry wanted to see her the last days before tour - he easily could. „I’ll come with you babe, I’m so sorry I didn’t find you guys when I got here - times just flew, I had no idea it was this late,” Harry explained completely ignoring Taylor, which made Taylor frown. „It’s okay, I had hoped to spend tonight with you - but we don’t get everything we want,” Tessa stated and sent him a fake smile, which Taylor caught on - trouble in paradise, and a Theresa who was clearly not certain where her place in Harry busy schedule was.

„Well it’s hard to make time for everyone in this business,” Taylor scoffed. Harry sent her and angry gaze which made her shut up. He put his hand on Tessa’s cheek so she couldn’t avoid eye contact. „But hey, let’s go home and make the best of our last night,” he suggested and smiled at the beautiful girl in front of him. „That would be lovely, but that is not going to happen,” Tessa explained. „What? Why? You can’t possibly be mad at me for this ­- it’s you who is leaving!” He said and Taylor quietly observed their conversation. „I’m not,” Tessa shrugged and was now happy she hadn’t shared her nervousness with Harry but Ed instead, since she feared he would have used it against her. „Then why can’t we leave together?” He asked frustrated. „Ed needs you - he said you two had to talk some business before you left tonight, so I’ll just leave you to it. Bye Taylor, have a nice night,” Tessa stated and pecked Harry’s cheek before turning around and leaving him with his ex-girlfriend.

„Are you ready to leave?” Zayn asked as he noticed Tessa coming closer. „Yep, there’s really nothing left for me here,” she said without thinking. She was feeling so confused about her feelings. She knew Harry and Taylor didn’t have to be together just because they spent this evening with each other - but they looked so intimate. And even if they weren’t together again - then was Tessa really good enough for him? He could have anybody, and she had felt so blessed being with him - but now when he was going on tour and she was moving to New York, did they even have a chance? Better save the heartbreak and walk away than getting hurt even worse in the long run.

„And Harry’s on his way over here to talk music with you, so don’t worry he won’t just leave,” Tessa said to Ed who was still sitting with the happy couple. „Great, where did you find him? I haven’t been able to all night,” Ed smiled. „Me neither, but ehm well I coincidentally found him with Taylor out in the crowd. But nice to see you again Ed, always a pleasure, but let’s go guys - I’m so ready to get out of here,” Tessa said and hugged Ed goodbye once more. He held her a little closer and a little longer than normal, since he felt sorry for her and needed her to know she had a close friend here in London. „Good luck in New York, call me with updates and I’m sure you’ll take them with storm,” Ed replied and pecked her cheek before letting her go.

„How about you sleep in our room tonight?” Perrie suggested and Zayn nodded willingly to let her crash with them, since he had this feeling in his gut that something was wrong. „Don’t think about it - I’ll just sleep in my room, I have to pack the last of my stuff and such. Perrie I’ll see you tomorrow - and I hope to see you as well Zayn, but if you already have left for rehearsals when I wake up, then thank you so much for letting me crash here - I really had the best summer ever with you guys,” she explained and was pulled in a big and warm hug. „It won’t be the same without you babe, I promise I’ll call you when we get to New York - then we can hang again,” Zayn suggested and this caused Tessa’s huge smile.

When Tessa closed the door to her room she slid down the door and put her head in her hands. What the hell was she doing? Why was she even leaving London? She loved it here - why couldn’t she have been offered a job here in England? But she wasn’t and this was a chance she couldn’t let slip. Besides Harry and the rest of the guys were all leaving anyways, since they had their tour - but they will be back her subconscious told her. And so what? She didn’t even know what Harry and she was doing - and she had always told herself to never let a boy before her career and her dreams - that just wasn’t a possibility.

In a time like this Tessa actually missed her mum and dad. Well at least if she had had a real relationship with either of them. But who could she talk to about things now? Well of course her friends, but that wasn’t really the same - besides nearly all of her friends were friends with Harry as well - and since Harry was fake dating Kendall in public she wouldn’t really be able to discuss this matter anyway. 

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