We Don't Talk Enough

7. Perrie.

It was the beginning of 2013 when Zayn realised, he didn't love Perrie.

Sure, he was thrilled with the idea of dating her at first but as the time went by, he realised he didn't love her as much as he thought he did. Sure, there were cuddles and kisses, but he didn't feel anything with her.

Like he felt with Harry.

The way he felt himself drowning with every kiss from Harry and it scared the shit out of him. Because no, he couldn't fall for Harry. What he had for Harry couldn't be more than a mere crush, he couldn't disappoint his parents. He couldn't have deep feelings for a boy. Maybe that's why Zayn started dating the blonde girl.

Zayn liked Perrie. He really did. Liked the child-ness in her, the way her small body would fit into his whenever they would hug. But he still couldn't shake off the feeling that it just didn't feel right.

He missed the cuddles he would share with Harry at night. He missed waking up to his soft kisses and his goofy smile. And even though they still managed to sneak some little kisses here and there whenever they were alone, it just wasn't like before. Like when they were carefree, like when they didn't need to worry about Perrie finding them in Zayn's hotel room heavily making out or getting each other off.

Zayn wanted that back. He wanted those times back, when he could be with Harry anytime, anywhere.

He missed Harry.

Maybe that's why he found himself in front of Harry's hotel room that night, in July of 2013. He looked defeated and he knew that. He was tired of fighting the battle against his inner self. He had finally given in. He couldn't fight this feeling anymore. He indeed had fallen for Harry.

Harry without a word pulled Zayn into his room and locked the door behind them, before pulling the older lad in a tight embrace. He didn't ask him what happened, because Harry could read him like an open book. Because he knew Zayn better than anyone else.

"You okay?" Harry asked in concern. He rubbed his back like he knew Zayn liked.

"I just - I just miss you." Zayn said truthfully. "I miss you so much, Haz."

If Zayn felt Harry's body stiffen against him, he ignored it. Zayn gently pulled himself away from the hug and took a seat on the edge of Harry's bed. Harry didn't move from where he was standing and kept looking at the floor.

"I miss you too." Harry said quietly.

"Don't you have Taylor?" Zayn let out a bitter chuckle as he ran a hand through his perfectly quiffed hair.

Zayn didn't want to admit it but seeing those pics of Harry and Taylor made him furious. He knew that he didn't have a right to because he was dating Perrie himself, but he was still mad at Harry. He didn't need to date Taylor.

"Like you have Perrie?" Harry's tone was sharp and it shocked Zayn a bit. Harry had never used that tone with him, ever. "Don't act like you are innocent Zayn. You are equally responsible for the mess we both are in."

"I know." Zayn sighed. "But I don't like it, even a bit." Frustrated, he laid back down on the bed and looked up at the ceiling.

"Me neither." Zayn felt the bed dip beside him. A small smile crept on his face when he felt Harry's laying down beside him. Zayn didn't hesitate to engulf Harry in his arms so that, the younger lads face was hidden in the crook of his tanned neck.

"Why can't we stay like this forever?" Harry mumbled against the skin of his neck. Zayn's arm tightened around his shoulders, but he didn't say anything. He couldn't. He didn't know what to say.