helpless crush || lams fluff fanfic HAMILTON

chap 10: "this was someone different"

(btw happy pride month im bi wassup)

peggy pov

at that moment my world fell apart, my jaw dropped, my head fell and my legs ran, my breath hitched,  across to an unknowing lafayette, perched on his bed, hands desperately typing.

"come with me" was all I could get out as I helplessly grabbed his arm, pulling him up with a violent and desperate force, earning a confused yelp from the Frenchman as his body was pulled into motion, running with me out the door hurriedly slamming it shut behind us.

"Qu'est-il arrivé?...eh, wait, I mean, what is happening? mon ami??"

"John"

my once dry eyes glazed while my bright smile failed to appear. we looked like idiots, both of us, laffs arm hanging in my hand as our legs ran across the field, eyes darting across the green grass to the dark concrete. I brushed a tear of distress away, turning to laf, scared and confused.

"his room.."

"yes?"

"there was blood,just.." I sighed" I don't know where he is."I choked, the reality of the situation hit me like a truck.

"merde, (shit) let us look" the Frenchman stumbled, dissociating his arm from me, quickly and confidently, he leads himself across the grass, unknowing of his direction, just of its purpose, I run across to him after a moment in my head - what the fuck am I going to do with him? , he should be resting, he isn't okay...Jesus Christ Jefferson, what the fuck have you done?-

" what about insid-"

"if John is anywhere, it is not inside, have you heard the kids?"

I  cringed at the thought as we ran, calling out his name in a rush of panic as we carefully walked the damaged roads among our prison-like campus, running out of time. minutes later our panicked forms were rushing past the dorm building once again, the wild sun shining onto our wildly beating hearts as we lost hope in finding him. prying eyes of every student glared us down, shooting us looks that could cut.

laff took a seat on an old bench by the wall, drifting into it in disappear, a sad sigh leaving his lips, I slipped down next to him, feeling helpless, getting lost in the concrete floor to the bottom of me.

"what the hell john?" I whispered, laff looking at me tiredly in response.

"I just..agh-" an aggressive grunt come from the tall man whilst a high pitched tone escaped from his phone, chiming from his jean pocket, longing to be answered. I starred whilst he took it out in embarrassment, swiping to answer the caller exhaustedly.

"Alex? mon frere are you alright?"

"Alexander are you sur-"

"are you fucking serious, a fucking- yeah yeah, alright."

"where?"

"well be there, just keep them safe okay?"

he must've noticed my cold eyes gazing at him because seconds later, he was the one rushing me up into movement, pulling my arm into his direction harshly.

alex pov

he stared me right in the eye, his own shaking and shivering, yet he still managed to do so. my feet are firmly planted on the ground as I look at what is happening, the halls have an icy cold chill to them, the floors are hard and dirty, the students gather round in packs, gathering to the drama they so desperately need, mouths open, ignorance and bitterness slipping out of them from time to time. ive never seen him like this, this just isn't the lovely, kind and passionate John I know, this...this is someone different, someone I haven't met, a part of john that fails to come around, I feel like I'm watching a stranger. I know what happened. laff told me everything as soon as it did. I don't give a fuck about gossip, never have, I just wanted to save him. I came to know if he is alright, to bring some light into the storm in his head right now. instead...this is what I come to see.

he smashed his foot into the others battered head one last time. they came unconscious at least 10 minutes ago, blood slipped out of them slowly in a gruesome fashion, their limp body lay on the group, growing more numb by the second, eyes closed peacefully, the mans cocky confidence lost into silence, his fancy clothes and grin meant nothing anymore, his afro hair matted over his face. no one had done anything to stop this. I saw the glaze over his manic eyes, the tears that flowed down them onto his freckled cheeks, covered by an angered blush, blood flowing down his nose. his eyes looked cold and dead yet filled with the anger of thousands all at the same time, his hair was out and shook violently with him. and that's when he looked me right in the eyes.

"i...i-i DIDNT WANT IT!" the freckled boy cowered, hot tears streaming faster while everyone watched.

"John...i know, I know that." 

he collapsed on the floor helplessly, his shaking figure almost next to his attacker, sobbing uncontrollably. people in the crowd would only murmur, do nothing to help, then talk about it later, pretending they cared.

"i-i..john i.."

"John holy shit" I heard a familiar female voice panic as she stumbles through the crowd, pushing people away just to get to him, a familiar Frenchman following her frantically, almost screaming at the sight before them, looking back at me with hopeless eyes.

----------------------------johns dorm, an hour or two after the event------------------

alex pov

carefully I poured boiling hot water into the mug, filling it up perfectly, watching as the water turned a light brown, just appreciating the little things.

I bought the tea down to john and set it on the table, he was cuddled up in a comfy blanket, eyes half open but drifting asleep all the same, he was safe and he was here, even if he was only half conscious on a sofa, closed off to almost everyone...it was enough for me.

I set my own tea down and sat next to him, leaning my head on his small shivering figure, hugging his arm lovingly. because, I loved him, and even after all this, I will never lose my feelings for him. he has so much control over my day, my feelings, me in general that, it's scary. I heard a small hum from him as he snuggled into me, his warm body pressing against mine tightly, I could feel his heartbeat, it was fast. 

after a good ten minutes, he had fallen asleep, his fast pumping heartbeat had slowed and his features had relaxed. I leaned in and whispered in his ear -

"you do such stupid things, you really do, unkind things also happen to you, I wish I knew why. you don't deserve the hell your in. I want to spend my life with you, that sounds so crazy but...I've never felt like this before, and I love it, I love you. I find myself thinking of you non stop, you keep me alive, and I swear I'll do the same for you." it felt good to get that out.

I lay my head on him carefully, finally satisfied, the worry I once felt melted away.

slowly and tiredly he moved from me, turning to face me, well shit he heard? Nah, maybe not... well that's what I thought before the beautiful man pulled his face to mine, dazzling green eyes shimmering softly as his soft lips met mine, rubbing softly onto mine with passion, but mostly love. his hand placed softly on my waist pulling us together under the blanket, our lips softly pulled at each other with a passion, a heat between us that nothing else could match, butterflies exploding in my stomach.

"I love you too"

(HEY GUYS ITS ME ALSO I AM GUINNA PUT A LITTLE LESS DRAMA IN THIS BOOK MAYBE AND FOCUS ON ALEX AND JOHNS RELATIONSHIP CUZ THATS WHAT UR HERE FOR ALSO THX FOR READING I LOVE YOU ALL! BUT NOT AS MUCH AS ALEX LOVES JOHN OK BYE PLS COMMENT IDK)