Wandering Fireflies

Chapter 20: Blanket Forts

Song: All Night by The Vamps

"Dude, hurry up and close the door," cried Zaavan. As we both rushed in, I slammed the front door shut. I'm pretty sure we lost them when we entered my neighbourhood, but hey - better safe than sorry.

"Those damn dogs," said Zaavan between breaths. Yeah, our town has a group of stray dogs that roam the streets, waiting to attack anyone in their sight. Of course Zaavan and I had the luck of bumping into them walking home from school.

"Yeah, I've never ran so fast in my life," I said, shaking my head to get the water out of my hair. I like the rain. Though running for my life from a bunch of dogs in it? Not so much.

"Bro, calm yourself! I swear you belong with those dogs," laughed Zaavan as I ignored how my stomach lurched at the sound of his laugh.

"C'mon, let's get changed." I quickly scanned Zaavan's body. "We're about the same size so my clothes should fit you." As we headed towards my room, my heart started racing at the thought of Zaavan wearing my clothes. It's crazy how something so little could make me feel so anxious.

"Can I use this?" Zaavan asked, waving a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt.

"Sure, if you want but you really don't need to wear such baggy clothes all the time. You have a nice body, you should show it off more." The minute those words slipped from my mouth I wished I could take them back. Holy shit, why did I just say that?! Zaavan bit his lip and raised his eyebrows.

"Uhhh...I mean..." I stuttered, looking away as I started to blush.

"Nah, it's cool. When I was younger, I looked so much like a girl that nothing I did seemed to make a difference. Even after cutting my hair, changing my clothes and my name, people still mistook me for a girl. When high school started you wouldn't believe how much time I had to spend at the gym working out and trying so hard to get my body to look like a normal guy's. I still wear baggy clothes because I'm so scared that I'll never pass for a boy and that seriously freaks me out."

Zaavan shook his head as he continued. I don't even know why I'm telling you this. I'm sorry I keep dumping all this shit on you..."

"Bro, don't worry about it," I said waving it off. "I swear, you can tell me whatever - I'm here for you. And trust me, nobody would even think twice about you being a guy. If you ask me, you're being way too hard on yourself," I reassured him.

"Here try this on." I passed a tighter shirt over to Zaavan.

"Isn't it kind of tight?"

"It's just body fitting. Seriously, you'll look great in it," I assured him with a smile. I wish I could've said more to comfort him and make him feel better about himself, but I couldn't. I was afraid that I might say something weird. Like admitting how much I wanted to run my hands through his soft brown hair or taste his lips on mine. Yikes, see what I mean?

Though it actually hurt seeing how much an amazing guy like Zaavan could feel so disgusted with himself. But I meant what I told him. Finding out that he was intersex didn't change the way I saw him and it definitely didn't change the fact that we were best friends. As cheesy as it might sound, learning more about each other has brought us closer.

Zaavan nodded reluctantly. Oh right, there's one more thing. "You can change here if you want. I'll change in the closet," I offered remembering how uncomfortable he feels about his body. Zaavan hesitated for a minute.

"It's fine, you can change out here. I trust you," he said with a nervous smile.

"I won't look, I swear," I said firmly. I turned around and started removing my wet clothes as did Zaavan. For some reason, the air suddenly felt thick. There was just something about knowing that Zaavan was changing on the other side of the room that caused a fluttery feeling in the pit of my stomach. I couldn't take it anymore. I just had to look.