Diana
Illusion in the Dream
1866, India
Where is your heart? You ask me this as I close my eyes. When they open again, I see your long, thick brown black braid down your back. You're looking up at where the sky should be, but there is just white. Then like a long brush stroke, the sky opens and color drips down and shows us a world which only you know. Dark greens, olive, vibrant yellow. Water sounds. The grass under your bare feet. It is revealed how we are actually sitting on a yellow bench in front of a fountain. Calmly you smile at the orange fish begging at you from their fountain home, but how can you smile when you have their beggar's heart?
Silently, you take my hand and pour a small bit of rice in my palm. You point wordlessly to the fountain and we stand together, dripping the rice in the fountain for the fish. They smile up at us as we are smiling down at them, finally satisfied. They have no lips, but we see their smiles. They are smiling with their bodies. You have lips which smile, but are you satisfied? Your body's sad movements tell me you are not.
Rice spent, you take my hand and we quietly watch the fountain go on its merry water way, how the streams of liquid cascade freely yet going around again and again. You tell me this is life. Water flows freely, but there is always a path. Everyone has a path, you say. You kneel down, and a hand begs for me to kneel with you. You point to the base of the fountain and I see a tiny trickle of water escaping.
Yet here, you whisper gently in my ear, we gaze at the one who has transcended the set path and who has found nirvana. This is the meaning of nirvana: one who has discovered their own path beyond the path. For there is no path. There is only life.
You look at me with your relaxed eyes. You are not relaxed. It is just a facade.
Only in your dreams can you show me your true feelings. Yet you still hide. You speak of nirvana, but how can you find nirvana if you don't open up? How can you find nirvana if you can't find your own freedom? You told me that to be at peace, one must not think on a human level. One must be free of one's own human suffering. Yet you are human. And you do suffer. As a demon, I can see that clearly. I can see clearly that you are just trying to run away.
It is only in your dreams that I can see this, and that you can see this, too.
YOU ARE READING
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