A strange peculiarity || Enoch O'Connor

chapter thirty

Ethan was doubting himself, and each thought stabbed him in the heart like a sword. What Jeanette had said to him seemed to hold some truth with him, and he worried that he had killed his friends, his family. He had been given a room in the punishment loop, which was comfortable enough, but not home. Where ever home was for him now.

He knew it was only a matter of time before the others made it to the loop. Only a matter of time before he could see them again. Jeanette, Nathan, Leo. Leo, how he missed him, the cheeky smile, his obedience matched with his quiet rebellious streak, his bright eyes, which had looked upon him with such disappointment and fear. Ethan never wanted Leo to be scared of him. He knew he had to convince his family that it was for the best. He just didn't know how.

Siding with the wights hadn't been his original plan, he was going to sneak his family away from the group and run. Keeping them safe, making sure they were happy. Now he was mixed up in a plot for the library of souls and the possible destruction of peculiar kind. He hadn't meant to let miss Cuckoo convince him of such things. But he had always been easily swayed, he had after all almost killed his family multiple times by believing the wrong person.

He had been watching the group carefully, watching Leo fade, become a shadow of his former self. Watching Jeanette slowly breakdown as she saw all the possibilities of the bright future she craved being stripped away from her, piece by piece. Watching Stephan being consumed by the darkness he was born with, watching Aimee struggle to keep him afloat. Watching Melanie form a bond with Leo, finding light in the darkness. Finding his brother, Nathan, acting his physical age rather than the age he was, watching Cameron become jumpy and paranoid. Watching Alice slowly stop smiling and Caspar stop being himself, just being there. Watching Horace and Enoch fret over their loved ones. Watching Miss Peregrine's peculiars still not knowing how much of a dire situation they were in. He had done this, and he was slowly hating himself for it.

It wasn't all he had done, invading Miss Wren's loop, capturing the young girl and accidently knocking the gardener off the cliff sat on his mind every day. And Josef, freezing in a cell made his insides turn at the thought. But he had done this, willingly and without argument. He was slowly becoming a monster, and he knew it.

He let out a scream, ice covering his bed, where he had been laying, he didn't even care anymore, he might as well be dead. He deserves death after all he had done. Ice spread from where he lay, covering the entire bed and the floor. He had tried so hard to find somewhere safe, let them talk him into believing that the ymbrynes would bring them ruin and destruction, believing that the only salvation was to be rid of ymbrynes and make a powerful nation of peculiars.

'Don't cry.' he knew that voice, he loved that voice, he sat up, looking wildly around the room, but he saw no one.

"Leo? Leo please, where are you?" He asked, he was crying now, his desperation too much.

'It's okay Ethan, everything will be okay.'

"You're not... You're not really here, are you?" He asked into the thin air, figuring out that he was just imagining the words of comfort.

'I love you'

"Leo!" He cried out, but the voice had disappeared, the comfort he so desperately desired would never really reach him. He was alone.

A knock sounded at the door, he knew who it was at once. "Ethan, can I come in?" Miss Eagle was trying hard to be civil, to be nice to him, he didn't answer her, so she shoved the door open and looked with pity at the boy sat there. "Oh dear, someone's feeling sorry for himself." She sat beside him, making him quickly shuffle to the other end of the bed.

"What do you want?" He asked, wiping his eyes as though she hadn't seen his tears yet, but she had.

"I need you to put the others off course." She replied, he stared at her.

"I can't, please. I can't do it." He whispered, pleading with her.

"You must, you knew what you were doing when you betrayed your friends." The ymbryne answered. "You cannot escape this Ethan."

"I just want them back." Ethan sniffed, she sighed.

"I don't care what you do, just do it." She told him.

"S- send a hollow after them." He told her after a moment's silence, he regretted it at once, but couldn't quite stop himself. She smiled.

"Much better, I expect you back on your feet in five minutes." With that she left, leaving him to share despsringly at the door and then break down in tears.

^^^^
Jacob sat up suddenly, he had been laying in between Emma and Jeanette, as the leading group decided their next move. "Did you hear that?"

There was no mistaking that sound, Enoch and Jeanette shared a look of intense worry. "That is not good." She decided.

"We need to move." Jacob yelled, the peculiars in their half asleep state did not react, until the cry of the hollow sounded again and they began scrambling to get up. The group began running in moments. How on earth had the hollow found them?

"I never asked." Enoch said as they ran, she glanced at him, an amused expression on her face as she grabbed Alice's hand as the girl was struggling. "What made you leave?"

"Looking ahead." She replied, a smirk playing on her lips as she lead the group into the nearest complete building.

"So what brought you back?" Enoch asked with a frown as they barred the door agsinst the hollowghast.

"Looking behind." She replied criptaically, he laughed, as did she and soon the two were in fits of laughter.