Tseju's Bayo

Chapter Six

A knock on the door followed by “African lady, African man he aff come to tooks you out.”

Tseju closed her eyes, her body rocked with laughter. That had to be Kehinde. She took one last glance in the mirror, convinced that her brows looked more like Tobi and Jane in love, than like Mama Oghene and Mama Judith arguing, she rushed out of her room down the stairs to meet ‘African man’.

Downstairs, the three chipmunks were seated on the long sofa and poor Bayo was subject to the crossfire that occurred whenever these three were sharing the same oxygen. Her aunt and her husband sat on the twin double armed chairs, watching the show, quite intrigued and seemingly pleased with themselves at raising such fine Sherlocks.

The smug look on their faces dissolved, and was replaced by a look of genuine shock when “Uncle Bayo are you going to engage aunty Tseju in coitus tonight?” a careful silence descended on the room and the offender didn’t need to have his ears pulled to know that he has crossed a line.

“Adebayo Mojufaso Rotimi! Where did you learn that from?” a bewildered Jimi rushed over to her 4 year old son. Kneeling before him, she asked again her voice a bit more subdued this time “Who taught you that word and do you know what it means?”

Uncle Mide who had been suspiciously quiet while the scene unfolded like a huge duvet on laundry day soon found himself in the spotlight as an outstretched and properly aimed tiny finger points in his direction.

“Ayomide! Explain yourself”

“Erm…” clears throat once, twice, third time.

“Daddie do you want water?” an innocent well-meaning Ade asked. Ah! Children and their innocence.

“Erm… No, thank you Dede.” To his wife, “Honey you see, I received a call from the hospital earlier today and it had to do with something similar. In a bid to not forget, I shortened it to one phrase and that’s how your son heard it and …”

“So he’s now my son abi?”

“No no, that’s not what I meant. What I meant is our darling boy heard the term and asked for the meaning. You know we have a no lying policy, so I had to tell him the true meaning of the word.”

At this point, the laughter that had been bubbling like a witch’s overcooked broth inside Tseju poured out. Bayo followed suit, then the chipmunks and soon the entire room was agog with laughter.

“Oya! Madam and oga dey go where una dey go. Bring my daughter back before 8:30 oh!! Don’t forget, the GPS has been activated.” And with that they’re out of the house.

If Tseju kept on smiling this hard, she was sure it would break her face. From the minute they left the Rotimi's, to this very moment sitting beside each other in Bayo's Range Rover, the smile just kept growing!!! She feared she was under a juju spell. Her attraction to this bald man was tooooo much. Speaking of bald men, she remembered the hot specimen of man that played the lead male in Royal Hibiscus Hotel, the movie they just saw. That man, errr what's his name ohh, sha the man that played Deji, that man is hot! Chisos!! Turning to the hot man sitting beside her, she embarked on a quick comparison.

“You're not comparing me to Kenneth Okolie, are you?”

“I knew it, you haff juju!! I cover my mind with the blood of Jesus” Tseju said, doing the sign of the cross on her forehead.  

Bayo couldn’t help the laugh, this girl cracked him up every single time. “Well stop because I’m hotter than him any day any time.”

“Who is giving you mind like this eh son of Jacobs.”