I Wish You Would // Instagram // Haylor

I Wish You Would

Sometimes you wish some things have never changed, or that time had never passed by so fast. We don't understand until we feel it for ourselves how bad it is to fall in love with someone who couldn't stay. No matter how much we love that person, you know that your love is completely breakable and with no end. I guess I knew that the first time I saw him but I fall for him anyway. He gave me no choice though. With his beautiful smile, his cute dimples, his intense green eyes. I have never felt anything like that for someone. 

I thought once upon a time that Jake was IT, the one I was suppose to marry. He was a great candidate, I knew he loved me in a certain way but he became scare about his feelings and instead of being an honest person he just cheated on me because he couldn't handle leaving me by choice, he wanted me to be the one who leave him. And I hate him for that, it was his fault, i hate that because of him I couldn't love him anymore, if that makes sense. He was my everything I was deeply in love or that is what i thought until the curly guy entered my life. 

I gave him a bad time though, I always thought he was cute but lets face it, us girls are not searching for a guy who is even younger than your little brother, I mean, it is not normal. That was the first issue about me denying him a date the first time but he was so persistent and amazingly charming that I fell for it in matter of two months. Harry was more a man than Jake ever was, I am sure of that. 

I fell for him so intensely and deeply that sometimes I think my heart would kinda explode for all the feelings I have for him. But sadly he just stopped someday saying that this was not the thing he was looking for, that all the rumors and people talking were not the thing he wants in a relationship and I let him go, he let me go. I could not help but cry, but in some point I understand him. It was not even a month after that incident in the Virgin Islands that I spotted him in his car just in front my porch in LA, I didn't say anything but I knew that he passes by my house every night for 1 month, parked his car in the front and stay there for like 30 minutes, then he would leave. 

I wish he would just knock at my door and say all the things he was trying to forget about. he did it though, one night. The night he told me he was in love with me and that he wanted to try a real relationship with me. It was a total secret and it lasted almost a year. He left me again though and then he really broke my heart. I swear i was never never coming back to him cause no one ever had destroyed me like that. 

He started dating other girl and I swear again the same thing. NEVER LET HIM AGAIN IN MY LIFE. When he broke up with the girl he called me and try for me to forgive him. I did it for our own good but we didn't come back together like that. It didn't last until we saw each other and all the feelings started again because they never left. We are never go out of style, that is for sure. 

The last time he was knocking my heart door was when he gave me as a gift the cutest kitty in the world and we started seeing each other again as a couple... it lasted 2 months and then I decided to break up forever this thing. We could never be entirely happy together, apparently people really hate us together and whatever we say about or think about it is not right or isn't true. Harry still was this man who is trying to realize how life is all about, he says he loves me and I am sure of that but he need to live more his life, I don't want to be the old girl who ruined a little boy's life. I left him for real and said to him that we have to move on this time because our love was not IT for neither of us.

He said to me that what I was saying was complete bullshit but I knew that he kinda believe it. 

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I picked it up. It was a message. 

Harry: Now that you two are official I guess you did it. Congratulations! You move on. I know you probably hate me now because of what happened with Kendall but I just want you to know that I was just so pissed at you because you left. And I guess I am still inmature and I did it cause i knew it will pissed you off. Anyway... i hope he is making you happy, you deserve it. And I hope he makes that beautiful smile, that because of me is not in your face anymore, rise again. And for the last time: I love you, babe. Have a good life. 

I read it a few times and my eyes filled up with tears. 

I wish you come back, Harry, I wish you were here, right now. 

I miss you too much to be mad anymore. 

I didn't replied to him, I just clean up my messy face and deleted the message. I saw Adam walking down the hall entering the living room where I was and I smiled. 

"Hey, gorgeous" he said and sat next to me pulling me in for a hug, "I missed you".

"I missed you too..." I said.