When I Look at You (a Dragon Age fanfiction)

Companions

Breaking the somber mood that had settled over the companions, Leliana said, "Tell us about the ball." She was sitting up on her knees, all thoughts of dinner forgotten. "I've been to many in Orlais, but never one in Ferelden."

"Oh, my least favorite part," Una sighed. "My dance card would already be filled before I even walked in. Mostly by younger sons of nobles, generally in their middle teens."

"How old are you, exactly?" Alistair asked.

Zevran rolled his eyes and tsked. "Alistair, I know you are not skilled in the ways of women," he said, moving a few more inches away from Alistair's clenched fist and flashing eyes, "but it is never a good idea to ask a woman her age."

Una smiled, her hand on Alistair's causing him to relax his fist. "I don't mind. I'm 19 today." She saw their reactions and sighed. "I know, I'm very, very young to be doing this. But I don't see anyone else jumping up to do it, so I guess I'm it, young and everything. At any rate, I think my father had approached every eligible man he could think of about me, and none of them were willing to put up with me, not even as a favor to my parents or for the power connected with marrying a Teyrn's daughter. Which is fine, since I didn't want any of them, anyway."

"What man wouldn't want you?" Alistair wondered at the same time as Leliana asked, "What did you want?"

"I was awkward, downright rude on principle, and had the reputation of being headstrong and completely uncontrollable," Una said, answering Alistair's question first. "A reputation I was careful to keep up, mind you. My parents were reasonable people—neither of them would have pushed me into a marriage I didn't want, which is how a Teyrn's daughter gets to be 18 years old and unspoken for—but if anyone truly worthy had put himself forward, there would have been some pressure. I knew what I wanted," she said. "I wanted what my parents had—they were deeply in love, even after such a long time together, and it was easy to tell in the way they laughed and talked with each other. But my mother was more than my father's love. She was his friend and his partner. And that's what I looked for and could never find. Someone strong enough to win against me, both physically and in battles of will; someone secure enough to treat me as a person and a warrior, not just some simpering weakling; someone who could make me comfortable with myself as a woman. The last one was the part I thought was truly a fantasy." She spoke mostly to herself, having all but forgotten her audience. As her voice trailed off, and she stared into the flames remembering those dreams and dwelling on how recently they had become an almost unbelievable reality, those around the circle reacted to her words.

Wynne looked at the young couple in each other's arms by the fire, and a certain interlude of her youth came back to her, a man who had been strong enough to let her be who she was, strong enough to let her go when she needed it. Would she still have left if she'd known she would never find that again?

The automatic cynical response rose up in Zevran's throat, but it found no voice. Una's sincerity was too obvious. He had never known there were really women like this—people like this, for that matter. People for whom honor meant more than staying bought; women of courage and integrity who would give their whole selves to a partner. The genuineness of her love for the ex-Templar was obvious for all to see. Usually it made Zev scoff; he had whiled away quite a few hours on the long days of travel imagining the many tragic ways their love was likely to end. But for a moment, sitting here and listening to her, he could imagine a love that didn't end. One that grew stronger over time. When he found that his gaze had traveled to the red hair and sweet mouth of the bard, Zev shook his head, cursing at his own folly, and jumped up, going anywhere to get away from all that insidious ... love.