When I Look at You (a Dragon Age fanfiction)

Guerrins

The next morning, after they finished breakfast, Una went off to see to the final provisioning before they headed back into the Frostbacks—the northern portion this time, toward Orzammar. Arl Eamon caught up with Alistair as the young warrior was carrying a load of clean laundry back to their bedroom.

"I wanted to thank you for everything you and your companions have done," Eamon said, studying the young face before him. It had so much of the little boy that he remembered, but also much that was new. Eamon kept trying to remember that the boy was a full-grown man, a Grey Warden, now.

"No, my lord," Alistair said. "I am the one who should be thanking you. I know you didn't have to take me in, and I appreciate everything you did for me."

"That's not what you said the last time I saw you," Eamon said with a chuckle.

"I was young and angry and completely miserable. I hated the Chantry and never wanted to be a Templar."

"I'm sorry we sent you there. It was a difficult time, and I—should have fought harder for you."

Alistair shrugged. "She's your wife. She had a right to ask that I be removed, and I don't blame either of you for it. Not anymore."

Eamon nodded. "Thank you, my boy."

"I also wanted to thank you for repairing my mother's amulet." When the Arl shot him a surprised look, Alistair explained, somewhat uncomfortably, "Una found it in your desk when we were here before. Looking for vellum, I think. And she gave it to me. I— I felt so stupid for so long, having broken the only thing I had that was my mother's. I couldn't believe you had put so much effort into repairing it."

"I knew you would regret that. I brought it with me when I came to see you at the Chantry, but when you wouldn't see me ... I put it in the desk, assuming I would give it to you some other time."

"It means a lot that you kept it. Thank you, ser."

Eamon clapped the younger man on the shoulder. "About ... Una," he began.

"Yes?"

"This is serious?"

"Of course!"

Eamon nodded. "I'm glad to hear it. She's turned into quite a woman. I knew her parents very well. I am devastated to hear of their deaths, especially in such a horrible manner." He took a deep breath. "Bryce Cousland would have approved of you heartily, I think." He laughed suddenly. "I think he had despaired of ever finding someone who could handle her. She was—a terror. Spoiled rotten, of course. But the apple of their eyes."

"She has said as much," Alistair said. "That her parents would approve of me. I find it ... hard to believe."

"The Couslands were people of great integrity. They looked for the worth of a person, not for wealth or power, or even blood. If you make their daughter happy and treat her well, as you appear to do, and are a man of honor, as I know you are, that is all they would ask for." Eamon looked seriously at Alistair. "In her father's stead, I do feel it incumbent upon me to ask your intentions."

Alistair met the Arl's eyes with no trace of self-consciousness. "Obviously this is a difficult time to make any kind of plans for the future. After all, none of us exactly knows that we'll have one. But whether I have a day, a year, or a lifetime, I intend to spend it with her."

"Glad to hear it," Eamon said. "I can't say I would have predicted you and the little Cousland girl would end up together, but there's quite a bit about this situation I would never have predicted. Much of it seems to be turning out well, because of the pair of you. I think Ferelden will have reason to be proud of you both."

"Thank you, ser," Alistair said. The two men continued down the hallway, making up for the lost years.

Meanwhile, Una was in the courtyard looking over piles of supplies. Arlessa Isolde came out with a heavy bag of vegetables over her arm.

"Thank you, my lady," Una said briefly, hoping the Arlessa would think she was distracted by her task. She didn't feel up to talking to the woman.

"Lady Cousland," Isolde began.

"Please, it's just Una. Lady Cousland ... was my mother."

"I am sorry about that. I remember Teyrna Eleanor. She was an exceptional woman."

"She was." Una bent down, tying off the top of a sack.

"I wanted to thank you for what you've done for me and my family."

Una straightened, looking the Arlessa in the eye. "I did it because it was the right thing to do. Because I have fond memories of the Arl. Because I've seen enough death. And because Alistair needed me to. If you must thank someone, thank him. It would be long, long overdue."

Isolde swallowed, looking away. "You think I've been unfair to him."

"To say the least."

"It was ... difficult. They never told me who his father was, you see, and so many people whispered to me that he was Eamon's child. I had such a hard time having Connor, I couldn't stand the idea that there was another son of Eamon's hanging around the castle. His very presence taunted me," she said in a near-whisper.

"So you had him sent away."

"I never thought about it from his perspective. Does that make me a bad person? I suppose you think so." Isolde's eyes hardened. "In your youth and your new love, all you can see is him, and what he went through."

"Possibly. But you still resent him, and you don't have those excuses." Una crossed her arms, looking down at the Arlessa.

"What would you have done? He came back at the same time that I was realizing I was going to lose my boy to the Circle of Magi. It was as though I could never get rid of him, as though he was always going to be here, tormenting me."

"I suppose I can see that." Una looked curiously at the other woman. "Now that you know who his real father was, does it change anything?"

"It does. It explains much about Eamon and Teagan's attitudes toward him. You see, their sister was the Queen. She and Maric ... they had great respect and affection for one another, but they never loved each other. That much I know. Both of them had loved other people, but they came together for Ferelden. And even though the Queen was dead by the time Alistair was conceived ..." Isolde shrugged. "I think they still felt that his existence was a betrayal of her. But they are good men, and they cared for him as well as they could. Until I entered the picture."

"I see," Una said. "And now? Does his presence still taunt you?"

"No."

"Perhaps, sometime, you could tell him that."

Isolde nodded. "Perhaps sometime I could."